It’s Easier to Raise Kids with Positivity

There’s been a big change in our household this month, and it is all thanks to a small change in the way we express ourselves. Rather than saying “Don’t throw your food”, we say “The food stays on the table”. Rather than “Don’t hit mommy”, we say “We keep our hands to ourselves”.

Not surprisingly, our son reacts more favorably when we take this approach. If there’s one thing a toddler doesn’t like to hear, it’s the word “NO”. When you tell your child they can’t do something, it’s up to them to figure out what they can do; a young child doesn’t have the capacity to figure that out on their own, so they are more likely to act out.

Telling our son what he can do has made all the difference in the world. When we say “We keep our hands to ourselves” he knows exactly what’s expected of him. “We sit on the couch” is much more understandable than “Don’t stand on the couch”. By including an acceptable action (sitting), we’re implicitly excluding actions we don’t want him doing (like jumping, dancing or standing).

Aside from our son’s improved behaviour, we’re finding the positivity floats into other areas of our lives with our langing shifting to phrases like “We should get something else” rather than “We can’t afford that”. Overall, it’s improved our moods and reactions to everything around us; the change has been extraordinary.

Next time you’re about to tell your child not to dump sand out of the sandbox, take a second to think about the way you’re expressing your wishes. You’re really asking is for your child to keep the sand inside the sandbox. Before long, this kind of thinking and the benefits it can bring will come naturally.

Transitioning A Toddler to a New Baby

If you have a young child at home and a new baby on the way, what can you do to ease the transition to a larger family?

We had this delima and decided on a few things we wanted to accomplish: First, don’t surprise the child with a new sibling – start talking about it as soon as possible; second, don’t move the child to a new room when the baby comes because it will confuse them and make them feel like they’ve lost their comfort zone; finally, make the child feel included in the new baby process so they (hopefully) aren’t resentful when you come home with your new bundle of joy.

Preparations

In our case, the first thing I did was clear out the room I had been using as my office and I painted it a deep relaxing blue for my son. We were moving him to the bigger room because his old room (the nursery) is attached to our own and we would definitely be needing it for the baby. This was done around the 5th month of the pregnancy, so Dylan was able to see changes starting in his mom and start to get to know his new room.

It took about two weeks to do the room since I had a number of repairs to make and wasn’t in a particular rush; it was a fun adventure for him to see the unfolding progress. Finally, I moved his crib and belongings over and let him take a nap in the crib. He was a little confused at first b ut because the situation was non-confrontational it ended up being quite relaxinbg for him.

Next I started on the nursery; tearing down the old decorations and painting it bright and girly. My son was more upset over these changes because it was starting to hit home that the older, smaller room was no longer his. At some point it hit home for him – the change was real.

Meanwhile my wife’s tummy was getting bigger and she was beginning to transition into carrying him less. That was a harder battle to fight because he began to sense that something big was happening and he wanted to be comforted; however, we knew she soon would be physically unable to spend time carrying him – it turned out to be a good decision in the end.

The Delivery

When it was finally time for the new baby to arrive, I had my mother come down and watch my son so we could focus our energy on the labour and know that Dylan was safe. My wife’s parents would also have been more than happy to take him for us, but it was important to us that he remain home in his comfortable environment. We’re very fortunate to have such a close and supportive family.

Four hours after the baby was born, my mother brought Dylan to the hospital to he could meet his new sister. We’d been talking about her for so long, it was nice to see that he actually seemed to understand what he was looking at. It was a sweet family moment that I was happy we were able to share. Thanks Mom!

Aside from meeting his sister, we made sure to have a present ready for him so he would know he was still important to us. Overall it was a very smooth experience.

Settling In

It wasn’t all fun and games, of course. Once we brought the baby home there was an adjustment period. It was one thing to meet his sister in the hospital but Dylan wasn’t so pleased with the situation once there was a screaming baby sharing the house (and mom and dad) with him. Three days away from his parents took a toll and while he was very well behaved for my mother, he was generally inconsolable once we returned. Remember that he is only two years old – he was so happy to have us home but didn’t know how to control his emotions.

It’s been a few weeks now, and we’ve largely settled back to routine. Dylan has accepted Katrina as a permanent fixture of the house and treats her carefully and compassionately. When she cries, he seeks us to soothe her. When we feed her, he gently kisses her forehead. Adding a new member to the family is a major life event but it doesn’t have to be traumatic.

What to Feed Your Sick Toddler

When your baby gets the stomach flu similar bug, mealtime

becomes even more challenging. What do you give to your little one who either can’t keep food down or has lost interest in eating because of the pain in their tummy?

Staying Hydrated is More Important Than Staying Fed
The first thing to remember: It’s much more important to drink plenty of fluids when your child (or you) becomes ill. Between fevers, diarrhea and vomiting, the body needs all of the water it can get in order to fight off the infection. If your child is able to drink but refuses to eat food, you may be best letting their system continue to work.

Stock Up on Pedialyte
Pedialyte – and other “noname” brands that offer the exact same product at half the price – is an excellent aid for a parent with a sick child. Especially in cases where the child seems to be throwing up everything that is going down, this medicine will help your child slowly absorb additional electrolytes which will help their immune system fight off the virus.

Tip: Gatorade – among other sports drinks – has a similar effect for adults (but contains too much sugar for younger children). In our household we call this our secret weapon and stock up every time one of us starts to get sick.

The BRAT Diet
BRAT (Bananas, Rice, Apple sauce, Toast) is an acronym you can use to remember the foods that will help to settle your child’s stomach while giving them the best chance to regain nutrients in order to get better faster. These foods are good sources of minerals and vitamins but are neutral enough that they offer the best chances at staying down in an upset tummy.

The CRAM Diet – More Protein
A similar diet involves Cereal and Milk in order to boost the amount of protein your child receives. Depending on the tastes of your child, offer these foods if your child will have them (ours won’t eat bananas, for example).

When to Seek Medical Help
Call your doctor if your child is disoriented, lethargic, difficult to wake, or has a fever higher than 102 fahrenheit. In most cases your child will be better served resting at home – resting in bed is more comfortable than waiting in a strange place for a doctor; going to the hospital will expose your children to more disease (as it turns out, some of those other people in the waiting room could be sick).

Top-Down Fires for Heating

If you use a wood stove to keep your family warm in the winter – particularly if you have a small wood stove with a low ceiling – you may well have gotten used to waking up out of bed during the night to keep the fire going. It’s not as big a deal to wake up to a cold house once the children are older, but babies are less tolerant of extreme temperature changes which means, yes, another source of sleep deprivation for you.

A top-down – sometimes called front-back – fire is a new-ish (depending on who you ask) technique for building fires. The idea is to burn the fire from the top of the pile down to the bottom; rather than burning all of your wood at the same time, this method will burn a single log which will crumble away as the next starts to burn. With a large enough stove and proper home insulation, this can keep your house comfortably warm all night while you stay in bed.

The way I was shown to build fires goes something like this:

1. Place two large logs next to each other with space in the middle for newsprint
2. Crumple as much newsprint as will comfortably fit between the two logs
3. Lay 4-5 pieces of small wood strips across like a grill in order to catch the heat from the newsprint while at allowing for good airflow
4. Place 2-3 smaller logs on top of the whole apparatus to collect heat from the kindling as it warms up; again allowing lots of space all around for airflow so the fire won’t smother
5. Light the newsprint in a few places and watch the whole thing take off; as long as you’ve left a nice amount of room for air to flow around, you can’t miss. The fire will take off quickly
6. Watch everything fall into a smoldering mess – poke and position the embers and put more wood on top – fire will not die until all fuel is extinguished

I still use this method during the day because it keeps the house nice and hot. The only downside is it requires a lot of maintenance with a small wood stove such as mine, and will smoke badly if not given enough air so constant attention to the airflow and flue is needed. At night, I prefer to use the top-down method:

1. Start at the back of the stove and stack large logs in a tight cluster with as little space between as possible
2. Place 2-3 pieces of dry kindling/wood scraps on top
3. Take 3-4 pieces of newsprint, roll each tightly and tie in a knot, place on top of the kindling
4. Light the newsprint, close the door and walk away

The fire will burn steadily all night. I like to tie the newsprint as if I were tying a shoelace, because there is no kindling to hold it down and this technique will prevent it from blowing away or falling off the wood pile.

The most amazing part of top-down fires is the lack of smoke. Most people are accustomed to the idea of bottom-up fires because as the heat from the flame rises it warms up the larger wood and increases the temperature of the fire. The problem is the air around the wood is not heated as quickly, so when the wood catches it will smoke at first. Top-down flames are pure heat and do not smoke; they won’t leave as much creosote in your chimney and they burn the wood much more completely.

The best part about owning a wood stove is the sense of connectivity you experience with the heating in your home. It’s one thing to flip a switch and have a furnace come on; it’s quite another to gain some level of mastery over the ability to make fire for your own comfort. Everyone who burns wood ultimately figures out their own method for best results; with so many different approaches and models of stoves you can literally spend your whole life improving your technique.

How to Prevent Getting and Spreading Disease

We’re all under the weather in our household. Last night my brother woke us up from a deep sleep by calling at 7:30PM. We won’t be going to be quite so early tonight, but the sandman is not far off. Despite the frantic calls of “swine flu!!” from overzealous family members (someone tell me the irrational H1N1 panic is going to go away soon).

We practice sanitary techniques in order to cut down the number of viruses we are exposed to and to prevent spreading any disease when we do become infected. You can use these tips to help protect yourself, your friends and coworkers, and your loved ones from getting sick as this year’s cold and flu season approaches.

1. No Face Touching
Since you contract the flu through your nose, mouth and throat, it is important to avoid introducing germs to those areas. Implement a “no face touching” policy – if you sneeze, rub your eyes, scratch your nose, wash your hands right away.

2. Good Hand Washing
A good hand wash lasts more than 20 seconds. You don’t need antibacterial soap – those generally do not kill more bacteria because people don’t let their hands lather long enough. Besides, the flu is a virus which wouldn’t be affected by an anti-bacterial.

The mechanical action of rubbing your hands together is the key to getting rid of any virus lurking on your hands. Use lukewarm water to wash away soap suds. Some people think you can get better results by making the water as hot as you can tolerate, but that is actually a bad idea because it will open up your pores and increase your changes of infection.

Bonus: Don’t forget to scrub between your fingernails!

3. Rise The Nose
As mentioned above, the flu virus infects you through your nostrils, mouth and throat. Therefore, it’s important to keep your nostrils clear in addition to keeping your hands off your face. One great way to accomplish this is by providing everyone in the family with their own bottle of nasal spray. Saline rinses (the dreaded neti pot) are also very effective, however a simple saline rinse will quickly wash away the majority of disease-causing debris.

4. Gargle
Mouthwashes like Listerine are incredibly useful for washing away any virus particles that may be lingering in your throat. Salt water may also be used and is recommended here. This maneuver clears your throat as well as your nasal cavity and kills harmful bacteria to boot.

5. Drink Warm Fluids
Drinking warm beverages like tea or coffee has a similar but opposite effect as does gargling. The warm liquid will wash the virus into your stomach where it is destroyed and won’t cause you any harm.

While it’s impossible to prevent yourself from ever getting sick, there are a lot of simple things you can do to prevent spreading germs to other people if you do become sick. Doing this will help to improve your overall health and keep the number of invaders to your system at a manageable level.