Closeness for Christmas

The holidays are a time to relax with cherished friends and loved ones.  This is the time for songs and cheer and reflection of the year past and the year to come.  This is the time to share gifts, food and stories.

The holidays are also a time many people find stressful, largely due to loved ones. Rushing around to shopping malls, planning dinners, figuring out whose parents you will visit on Christmas eve and who you will spend Christmas with. For young couples with new babies this is a time of change; change is always stressful and sometimes scary.

Let’s all take the time to make this Christmas special. It really is a magical time of year – even though we spend time together throughout the year, rarely do we make such a point of it as we do in December. Songs about joy and peace ring off the tongue so freely when lips are tight at other times.

Tomorrow I will follow up with a list ideas that will help get any family into the Christmas spirit.

Nighttime With Baby

The first time my baby slept through the night was both wonderful and terrifying. Wonderful because I’d lost all concept of what sleep was. Terrifying because I woke up with a start at 4am and panicked because the baby hadn’t cried. When I went over to the bassinet and saw him sleeping peacefully, there was a chorus line playing in my head.

Four months later the baby has moved out of our room and into his own crib. That was another big step and a story for another time but suffice it to say the nighttime routine in our house has changed often and dramatically over the past year.

Sometime between 4-7 months, children begin to develop a sense of object permanence – the idea that when something is out of sight, it still exists.  This is basically when your child learns there is only one of you – that when you leave the room you don’t disappear entirely. (What happens before that?  Perhaps the child believes you stop existing?  I wonder how that works on a practical level.)

Today, bed time involves realizing the baby is tired and putting them to bed at the right time.  If we do this too early we have to console a crying baby.  If we do it too late, the baby works himself into such a frenzy of tears he has no idea what’s going on.  As long as he goes to bed on time, the crying only lasts for a few minutes until he realizes he is tired and passes out. Usually.

Get Your Children Excited for Santa

Christmas is just around the corner!  The job may already be done for you, but there are a lot of things parents can do to help get their children in the Christmas spirit and excited for Santa’s visit.

Put Up the Christmas Tree
Many families put up their Christmas trees very early in December.  This is a great opportunity to bond with children and involve them in the holiday process.  Foster creativity by letting them put ornaments in unconventional places; an unused vase filled with shiny Christmas balls makes an eye-catching centrepiece for the table.

Start an Advent Calendar
Those chocolate advent calender, like so many other other aspects of the season, takes a christian tradition (in this case the days of advent) and mass-commercializes it down to a waxy chocolate treat.  Arguments aside, opening a new chocolate decoration every day in the lead-up to Christmas helps to build anticipation and teach young children about the passage of time.

Presents are Surprises
In my family, whenever we give gifts to other people we keep them a surprise until the time they are opened. This was always one of the most fun aspects of the holidays, to me.  When you’ve picked a present that you know the other person is really going to love, it’s almost as unbearable to not give it to them early as it is for them wondering what you might have thought of.

Some families don’t do the surprise presents – sometimes a gift giver is with the recipient when they make or buy their present!  That is a great way to bond, too.  There is no wrong way to celebrate the holidays, and no wrong way to bond with our loved ones.  The priceless look on a child’s (or adult’s!) face when they open a gift they love but weren’t expecting can really make the surprise worthwhile.

Sing Songs
Even if you aren’t the greatest vocalist in the world, encourage song in your household.  Children connect to music on many levels, and familiar Christmas songs build excitement for the big day as well as general good feelings. This works all year round, too!

Enjoy Each Other’s Company
This time of year is great for spending time with loved ones.  There are more statutory holidays and often workplace-provided days off.  Rather than using the free time to catch up on housework or shop for more presents, use it to spend time with the kids.  It’s so easy to get lost in the moment that we don’t always take the time we should with the people who give us the drive to keep doing all that we do.  Drop everything and play with the baby.  There is nothing so important that it can’t wait.