Fathers Can Handle the Stress of Providing

Posted on Saturday, January 3, 2009 in Parenting

When you become a father, your life is profoundly changed. It isn’t an earth-shattering force that hits you like a train; it is a slowly evolving experience that takes years to fully comprehend. Until you are a father yourself, it is hard to fully appreciate the powerful pride you feel when your child recognizes you for the first time, perks up and laughs when you walk into the room, or mimics your motions to teach himself how to crawl.

The dad experience has a heavy cost associated with it, as well. Although many families are headed by two working parents, very often the woman finds herself in the mommy trap – bumped from the corporate ladder due to family commitments or a reduction in working hours. Some mothers feel strongly about staying home to raise their child and don’t return to work. For those families, the father finds himself becoming the primary or even sole provider.

Especially in rough economic times, the pressure to bring home enough money to feed, clothe and shelter an entire family can seem like a heavy burden to bear. As a father, how do you handle the stress and keep an optimistic front?

You’re In This Together
The first thing to remember is that you are not alone, even if you feel isolated by your responsibility. Mothers experience similar issues: imagine being alone with a newborn all day. Not only is she responsible to care for this little life, but at every moment she has to guess what the baby needs, wants, or is hurt by since the baby cannot tell her what is wrong. She has to learn when the baby is crying for food or crying in pain. If she is home all day while you are at work, she has to learn to fend for herself and get used to her radically different, more isolated life – you get to remain surrounded by the same people as before during the day and only have adjust to a new home life.

We Always Get Better
As time goes on you will become more comfortable in your role as a father and provider. You will make more money. If you hit a rough spot and lose your job, you will find another. Humans, by their very nature, find ways of improving things as life goes on.

You Are Needed
You are not required to be invincible or a mountain of strength, but you are a pillar in your family. Even more than what you can provide, your family needs and wants you in their lives. You don’t need to have all the answers, you just need to have a place in your heart for them.