Bedtime for Toddlers – My Child Does Not Want To Stay In Bed

It’s 7:30 and you find yourself wanting to say to your child: “I’m tired. You should go to bed.” It’s not easy keeping up with the boundless energy of a two-year-old. All of a sudden their temperament changes, and you find yourself fighting with them to get back into their bed.

After our third pregnancy, my son and daughter are adjusting to our new routine. Everything seemed fine while I was off work but as soon as I went back to the office Dylan began a new phase of separation anxiety. Whereas he would go to sleep by 7pm every night and stay in bed until 7am the next day on a routine that was perfectly matched to his body’s needs, he decided his new routine should be not going to sleep ever.

This was an exercise in frustration for everybody. Our first step was to put him back in his bed and calmly tell him to stay there. This technique works for time outs but it did not bring us any success keeping him in his room. Next we tried closing the door and keeping him in his room while we talked to him from the other side. My wife tried sleeping on the floor of his room so that he would see she was there and stay put – no luck. We even tried letting him nap with us in our bed, but nothing seemed to work. My son did not want to soothe, he wanted to scream himself to sleep and there was nothing we could do about it.

My wife got desperate and called the public health nurse for advice She suggested another tactic that seems to be working, and it involves a new way of approaching the situation with positivity. Here’s what we’ve done:

1. Turn off the TV at dinner time and don’t put it on again before bed.
2. Start giving the baby his bath at his former bed time. (Yes, that means he’s going to bed later, but he is older now so it’s OK).
3. After the bad, put on his PJs.
4. Put him in his bed, sit net to him, and read a complex chapter book.

I’m pleased that my son is old enough to appreciate reading time. It’s turned into an amazing way for us to spend some downtime together and he really enjoys the one-on-one time with his dad, so much so that during the day he keeps asking his mom when dad is going to come home and read to him. The best part is that he loses the fight and is asleep by 7:30 now with no screaming or yelling.

There are a lot of reasons why children have difficulty getting to sleep. In our case, my son was craving special attention and this was his way of communicating his needs to us. Now that we’ve wised up and understand the message, we’ve earned our evenings back and added a fulfilling new ritual to our daily routine.

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