Bedtime for Toddlers – My Child Does Not Want To Stay In Bed

It’s 7:30 and you find yourself wanting to say to your child: “I’m tired. You should go to bed.” It’s not easy keeping up with the boundless energy of a two-year-old. All of a sudden their temperament changes, and you find yourself fighting with them to get back into their bed.

After our third pregnancy, my son and daughter are adjusting to our new routine. Everything seemed fine while I was off work but as soon as I went back to the office Dylan began a new phase of separation anxiety. Whereas he would go to sleep by 7pm every night and stay in bed until 7am the next day on a routine that was perfectly matched to his body’s needs, he decided his new routine should be not going to sleep ever.

This was an exercise in frustration for everybody. Our first step was to put him back in his bed and calmly tell him to stay there. This technique works for time outs but it did not bring us any success keeping him in his room. Next we tried closing the door and keeping him in his room while we talked to him from the other side. My wife tried sleeping on the floor of his room so that he would see she was there and stay put – no luck. We even tried letting him nap with us in our bed, but nothing seemed to work. My son did not want to soothe, he wanted to scream himself to sleep and there was nothing we could do about it.

My wife got desperate and called the public health nurse for advice She suggested another tactic that seems to be working, and it involves a new way of approaching the situation with positivity. Here’s what we’ve done:

1. Turn off the TV at dinner time and don’t put it on again before bed.
2. Start giving the baby his bath at his former bed time. (Yes, that means he’s going to bed later, but he is older now so it’s OK).
3. After the bad, put on his PJs.
4. Put him in his bed, sit net to him, and read a complex chapter book.

I’m pleased that my son is old enough to appreciate reading time. It’s turned into an amazing way for us to spend some downtime together and he really enjoys the one-on-one time with his dad, so much so that during the day he keeps asking his mom when dad is going to come home and read to him. The best part is that he loses the fight and is asleep by 7:30 now with no screaming or yelling.

There are a lot of reasons why children have difficulty getting to sleep. In our case, my son was craving special attention and this was his way of communicating his needs to us. Now that we’ve wised up and understand the message, we’ve earned our evenings back and added a fulfilling new ritual to our daily routine.

The Second Pregnancy

The second pregnancy is a big step in your life as a parent as well as in the life of your first born. On one hand you are embarking on a familiar journey and have a sense of what you can expect, while on the other hand you have a new set of responsibilities to juggle as you make the transition and become a larger family.

Am I Missing Out on the Pregnancy?

It takes a lot of resources – both financial and time – to raise a child. With all those demands constantly pressing on your time you may feel like you’re “missing out” on the new pregnancy. Many second-time parents fear that they will not bond as strongly with the new baby because so much of their time is taken up.

Will I Love One Child More Than The Other?

Many parents fear they will not love the new baby as much as their older child, or that the older child will feel replaced or unwanted. The older child is starting to become more independent and needs less hands-on time, but will they feel completely shut out when there is a new infant taking all of tired mom’s energies?

Safe Transitions

The best way to proceed will of course depend on the temperament and age of your oldest child. You can explain to a five year old what is going on and involve them in planning and decorating for the new baby, but a two-year-old won’t have the same level of comprehension – they can tell “something” is changing, but need to be carefully handled so they don’t wake up one morning and lose their room, lose horseback-mommy, and have to learn all new routines.

Much like the first pregnancy, they key to a comfortable transition is beginning early. No one gets a right to complain – mother nature gives us nine months to get our things in order and prepare for the change in our lives. Second-time (and third-time and fourth-time) parents have an ace up their sleeve in that they already know what to expect when bringing home an infant.

Stop. Breathe in. Breathe out. Now go and enjoy this amazing time!

When Baby Refuses Bottle

Just when you become accustomed to your baby behaving a certain way, suddenly their habits change and you find yourself dealing with a whole new set of circumstances. You may have been fortunate enough to have a baby that takes lots of naps during the day but now decides not to take any more naps at all. Or, like us, you may have a baby who suddenly decides that drinking from their bottle is too boring for their newly refined sense of self.

It can be tricky to figure out your child’s needs, particularly around the one-year mark. They can’t talk yet and tell you what’s on their mind. At the same time they want to experience more independence and begin learning skills (like walking and crawling) that they may not be fully prepared for. Before you know it you’re picking dirt out of their mouth even after you thought your floor was spotlessly clean.

When the baby refuses to drink, you have the tough job of figuring out whether they have become sick, whether they’re in pain because of teething issues, whether they are just being picky and need to be given a “sippy” cup, or whether they need to be left alone to play.

How to tell when your baby’s refusal to drink is serious enough to call the doctor

1. If the baby has a high fever (39.7/103.5 or more) take them to the emergency room immediately.
2. If your baby has a more mild fever, is sleepy or hard to wake, and refuses their bottles take them to see their doctor.
3. If your baby hasn’t passed stools for more than two days and is irritable, they could need help to soften their poop before they get a blockage. Take your child to the doctor soon especially if they are showing signs of pain when forcing.
4. Check for rashes, bug bites, ticks. Check everywhere – chest, back, arms, legs, armpits, groin area, scalp. A bug bite or infection can sometimes cause enough discomfort to preclude eating.

Air Conditioning Not Harmful to Babies; Fans Reduce Risk of SIDS

As I sit here in the humidity brought by the first heatwave of the summer, laptop burning a hole into my

thigh, I can’t help but wonder how my infant son is coping with the heat. He’s pulled his favourite toys together in front of the baby gate behind which I’ve placed a box fan in an attempt to circulate the air. If the heat bothers him, he’s not saying anything; he grins one of his toothy smiles at me when he notices I’m watching him, then goes back to playing.

Downstairs there is a central air unit missing one of the parts it needs to drain properly. The knowledge of its presence is almost taunting us. I look forward to the relief we will experience when we are finally able to cool the house down by only a few degrees.

Like everything else having to do with childcare, you will run into a lot of differing opinions about how best to help your children handle warm weather. The bottom of the pyramid here is hydration – like adults, children need more fluid to replace what they lose through sweat. Don’t feel shy about being generous with water and bottles especially if your child is going through a growth spurt.

Juices and pop should be avoided because they don’t give your child’s body any extra benefit – in the case of pops and sodas, the caffeine in the drink will actually act to dehydrate. Sport drinks like Gatorade may be helpful in small quantities during extreme heat because they will boost the electrolytes in your child’s body and help them feel more replenished.

There is a myth circulating around that air conditioning units are not safe for children because the cold can cause a chill or asthma later in life. This is hogwash. Air conditioning is safe for babies and can help them get a full night’s rest rather than tossing and turning because they are wet, sweaty and uncomfortable.

If you’re not fortunate enough to have an air conditioner, or if you don’t use one because you don’t feel your climate is oppressive enough, you may choose to use fans to help circulate the air. Good news! Research has shown that fans can greatly reduce the risk of SIDS. Sadly, fans do not cool the air, they only circulate the warm air already in the room.

Leave a comment with your tips for beating the heat in child-friendly ways!

The Child’s Eyes

In Grade 10 biology, you may have learned about recessive versus dominant genes; particularly for eye colour, brown is “dominant”, blue is “recessive”, therefore the offspring of a brown-eyed parent and a blue-eyed parent would always have brown eyes. The rules seem to change somewhat when you finally have a child of your own – even though your spouse has brown eyes your child is born with big blues.

Don’t get too attached – many children’s eyes change colour between 6 and 18 months of age.

You can calculate the “odds” of your children having a particular colour of eyes by using the Eye Calculator.