photo credit: nicasaurusrex

It’s 7:30 and you find yourself wanting to say to your child: “I’m tired. You should go to bed.” It’s not easy keeping up with the boundless energy of a two-year-old. All of a sudden their temperament changes, and you find yourself fighting with them to get back into their bed.

After our third pregnancy, my son and daughter are adjusting to our new routine. Everything seemed fine while I was off work but as soon as I went back to the office Dylan began a new phase of separation anxiety. Whereas he would go to sleep by 7pm every night and stay in bed until 7am the next day on a routine that was perfectly matched to his body’s needs, he decided his new routine should be not going to sleep ever.

This was an exercise in frustration for everybody. Our first step was to put him back in his bed and calmly tell him to stay there. This technique works for time outs but it did not bring us any success keeping him in his room. Next we tried closing the door and keeping him in his room while we talked to him from the other side. My wife tried sleeping on the floor of his room so that he would see she was there and stay put – no luck. We even tried letting him nap with us in our bed, but nothing seemed to work. My son did not want to soothe, he wanted to scream himself to sleep and there was nothing we could do about it.

My wife got desperate and called the public health nurse for advice She suggested another tactic that seems to be working, and it involves a new way of approaching the situation with positivity. Here’s what we’ve done:

1. Turn off the TV at dinner time and don’t put it on again before bed.
2. Start giving the baby his bath at his former bed time. (Yes, that means he’s going to bed later, but he is older now so it’s OK).
3. After the bad, put on his PJs.
4. Put him in his bed, sit net to him, and read a complex chapter book.

I’m pleased that my son is old enough to appreciate reading time. It’s turned into an amazing way for us to spend some downtime together and he really enjoys the one-on-one time with his dad, so much so that during the day he keeps asking his mom when dad is going to come home and read to him. The best part is that he loses the fight and is asleep by 7:30 now with no screaming or yelling.

There are a lot of reasons why children have difficulty getting to sleep. In our case, my son was craving special attention and this was his way of communicating his needs to us. Now that we’ve wised up and understand the message, we’ve earned our evenings back and added a fulfilling new ritual to our daily routine.

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photo credit: quinn.anya

The second pregnancy is a big step in your life as a parent as well as in the life of your first born. On one hand you are embarking on a familiar journey and have a sense of what you can expect, while on the other hand you have a new set of responsibilities to juggle as you make the transition and become a larger family.

Am I Missing Out on the Pregnancy?

It takes a lot of resources – both financial and time – to raise a child. With all those demands constantly pressing on your time you may feel like you’re “missing out” on the new pregnancy. Many second-time parents fear that they will not bond as strongly with the new baby because so much of their time is taken up.

Will I Love One Child More Than The Other?

Many parents fear they will not love the new baby as much as their older child, or that the older child will feel replaced or unwanted. The older child is starting to become more independent and needs less hands-on time, but will they feel completely shut out when there is a new infant taking all of tired mom’s energies?

Safe Transitions

The best way to proceed will of course depend on the temperament and age of your oldest child. You can explain to a five year old what is going on and involve them in planning and decorating for the new baby, but a two-year-old won’t have the same level of comprehension – they can tell “something” is changing, but need to be carefully handled so they don’t wake up one morning and lose their room, lose horseback-mommy, and have to learn all new routines.

Much like the first pregnancy, they key to a comfortable transition is beginning early. No one gets a right to complain – mother nature gives us nine months to get our things in order and prepare for the change in our lives. Second-time (and third-time and fourth-time) parents have an ace up their sleeve in that they already know what to expect when bringing home an infant.

Stop. Breathe in. Breathe out. Now go and enjoy this amazing time!

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photo credit: jonfeinstein

Just when you become accustomed to your baby behaving a certain way, suddenly their habits change and you find yourself dealing with a whole new set of circumstances. You may have been fortunate enough to have a baby that takes lots of naps during the day but now decides not to take any more naps at all. Or, like us, you may have a baby who suddenly decides that drinking from their bottle is too boring for their newly refined sense of self.

It can be tricky to figure out your child’s needs, particularly around the one-year mark. They can’t talk yet and tell you what’s on their mind. At the same time they want to experience more independence and begin learning skills (like walking and crawling) that they may not be fully prepared for. Before you know it you’re picking dirt out of their mouth even after you thought your floor was spotlessly clean.

When the baby refuses to drink, you have the tough job of figuring out whether they have become sick, whether they’re in pain because of teething issues, whether they are just being picky and need to be given a “sippy” cup, or whether they need to be left alone to play.

How to tell when your baby’s refusal to drink is serious enough to call the doctor

1. If the baby has a high fever (39.7/103.5 or more) take them to the emergency room immediately.
2. If your baby has a more mild fever, is sleepy or hard to wake, and refuses their bottles take them to see their doctor.
3. If your baby hasn’t passed stools for more than two days and is irritable, they could need help to soften their poop before they get a blockage. Take your child to the doctor soon especially if they are showing signs of pain when forcing.
4. Check for rashes, bug bites, ticks. Check everywhere – chest, back, arms, legs, armpits, groin area, scalp. A bug bite or infection can sometimes cause enough discomfort to preclude eating.

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photo credit: Andrea Fregnani

thigh, I can’t help but wonder how my infant son is coping with the heat. He’s pulled his favourite toys together in front of the baby gate behind which I’ve placed a box fan in an attempt to circulate the air. If the heat bothers him, he’s not saying anything; he grins one of his toothy smiles at me when he notices I’m watching him, then goes back to playing.

Downstairs there is a central air unit missing one of the parts it needs to drain properly. The knowledge of its presence is almost taunting us. I look forward to the relief we will experience when we are finally able to cool the house down by only a few degrees.

Like everything else having to do with childcare, you will run into a lot of differing opinions about how best to help your children handle warm weather. The bottom of the pyramid here is hydration – like adults, children need more fluid to replace what they lose through sweat. Don’t feel shy about being generous with water and bottles especially if your child is going through a growth spurt.

Juices and pop should be avoided because they don’t give your child’s body any extra benefit – in the case of pops and sodas, the caffeine in the drink will actually act to dehydrate. Sport drinks like Gatorade may be helpful in small quantities during extreme heat because they will boost the electrolytes in your child’s body and help them feel more replenished.

There is a myth circulating around that air conditioning units are not safe for children because the cold can cause a chill or asthma later in life. This is hogwash. Air conditioning is safe for babies and can help them get a full night’s rest rather than tossing and turning because they are wet, sweaty and uncomfortable.

If you’re not fortunate enough to have an air conditioner, or if you don’t use one because you don’t feel your climate is oppressive enough, you may choose to use fans to help circulate the air. Good news! Research has shown that fans can greatly reduce the risk of SIDS. Sadly, fans do not cool the air, they only circulate the warm air already in the room.

Leave a comment with your tips for beating the heat in child-friendly ways!

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photo credit: Lili Vieira de Carvalho

In Grade 10 biology, you may have learned about recessive versus dominant genes; particularly for eye colour, brown is “dominant”, blue is “recessive”, therefore the offspring of a brown-eyed parent and a blue-eyed parent would always have brown eyes. The rules seem to change somewhat when you finally have a child of your own – even though your spouse has brown eyes your child is born with big blues.

Don’t get too attached – many children’s eyes change colour between 6 and 18 months of age.

You can calculate the “odds” of your children having a particular colour of eyes by using the Eye Calculator.

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Diagnosis: Attitude, not strep throat.

Apparently, around the end of their first year, children start wanting to assert more independence – never mind that they don’t have the skills needed to do so. Even though your child can’t yet walk (maybe they can’t even crawl yet!) you will find them trying to push themselves away from you and travel on their own. Their nutrition changes and the time is right to start weening them off the bottle and onto real milk and solid food.

This is the same time that sleeping habits start to change and originally docile babies start to become menaces. Just when you thought you were getting used to the routine of parenthood, it all changes! It’s time to start baby proofing your home, if you haven’t already, because your child will be discovering all imaginable dangers very soon.

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photo credit: tillwe

I was walking around the stores lately looking at toys to get for my son, when suddenly I stopped halfway down an isle of infant toys and asked myself what happened to the good old toys. Nowadays it seems like everything requires batteries.

I was looking for a teething toy for my son so I stopped a sales associated and asked her to please direct me to teething toys that do not contain water or liquid. When we got to the huge wall of teethers it came down to two options: one of them was a raspberry shaped pacifier and the other was a vibrating star or strawberry. I stood there feeling puzzled. Not even the teethers are free from batteries; apparently some genius decided that the vibrations of a rubber toy soothed a baby. I decided to buy the raspberry (which by the way is an incredible product that doesn’t require batteries).

On another shopping trip we wanted to look at ride-on toys, exersaucers, and those walking toys that children push when they first start to walk. Everything needed batteries! I swear the battery industry is carried by parents who buy toys for their children. You don’t realized how fast you go through the batteries until everything you own requires them.

I wanted to buy my son just a set of wooden block for him to build whatever his imagination would allow him to just like I did when I was little (and my father before me and his father did before him). This simple no batteries required toy was more expensive than any of the other toys in my baskets. When did we stop liking the good old fashion wooden toys that were built to last? Why have we replaced them with cheap plastic and a battery compartment? I hope that every child at least has one good old fashion toy just to remember that you don’t need a song and bells and light to go off on a toy just for you to have endless hours of fun.

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photo credit: BerthaReza

In the past year I noticed several articles written in newspapers, magazines and parenting books that urge mothers not to sleep with their babies. I remember the nights Dad worked and mom would gather all three of the kids into her bed and we would all fall asleep. I agree with the article in respect of not sleeping with your newborn because there has been studies that prove there are multiple deaths a year from exhausted new parents rolling onto there baby or crushing them with there arm and enabling the baby to breath.

I think that because of the availability of bassinets and co sleepers there isn’t a need to take the risk of rolling onto your child. But I like many mothers am guilty of falling asleep with the baby. The first time I fell asleep with my son he was about 2 weeks old. I was tired had a hard delivery and just needed to cuddle him it was the afternoon and instead of asking my husband to come and put him in his bassinet I held him while I slept. In my defense, I knew my husband was checking on me every 5 minutes or so, so I didn’t sleep with him long.

The next time I fell asleep with him he was about 2 months old and that is when afternoon naps became my time to cuddle and comfort the baby to sleep. My mother keeps telling me that I should break the habit now because he will get used to napping with me and I will have trouble breaking that pattern, but I think it’s important to stop and enjoy having a baby and cuddling them to sleep even if it is their afternoon nap. Some mothers rock their children to sleep and then put them in their beds but I prefer to put them to sleep in bed and watch them wake up and open their beautiful eyes so I can see the security they feel when they realize you are still there holding and cuddling them.

I am a very deep sleeper to the point of fault: when we lived in an apartment building I would sleep through the fire alarm. Knowing my sleeping pattern, I would never sleep with the baby all night and I would never sleep with him when I was extremely overtired (excepting of course that above-mentioned lapse when my husband was being mindful of us). They grow so fast that you do what you can because when they get old enough they won’t want to be held and cuddled as much.

I think napping comforts me just as much as it comforts the baby. Knowing that he needs me is wonderful and it is important for him to know that every once in a while mommy needs to be cuddled too. I appreciated all the information that the articles provided for me; but, as the old saying goes Mommy knows what’s best for her and her baby.

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While we no longer have to worry about Bisphenal A from plastic bottles, we aren’t totally protected because whenever we prepare a can of formula concentrate we are dealing with a product that may contain a questionable dose of the chemical.

As mentioned earlier, Bisphenal A (BPA) is added to plastic products to increase their strength. A lesser known use is as a component of the liner within tin cans. In both instances, when the container is heated the BPA leeches into the food contents. For those not in the know, canned food is heated to kill any bacteria that may be present thereby increasing its shelf life.

What I want to know is – did our switch to glass bottles really make a difference? Is my son getting half the dose of this toxic chemical? How worried should I be?

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Diaper bag: check.
Bottles: check.
Car bottle warmer: check.

About 20 minutes before bottle time I plugged in the car warmer and dropped in the bottle only to discover that my crappy $35 warmer has gone on strike and is not going to heat up my bottle. Thankfully it’s about that time when mommy needs a coffee, so to the drive through we go for our large café mocha and bagel with cream cheese.

“Please drive up to the window and I will give you your total there.”

I pay for my things and ask the man at the window if I could have a cup with hot water because my bottle warmer isn’t working. He says he has to get his manager and asks me to wait. The manager comes to the window and after rudely telling me that this isn’t a baby store tells me it will be $1.75 for a cup of water. I tell him I am willing to pay 25 cents but not a penny more for a cup of hot water.

Again he affirms there was a tap in the washroom for me to use otherwise I would have to pay $1.75. I tell him thanks but no thanks. I drive around the building park my car, take my son and the bottle out, and wait at the tap for 10 minutes for the milk to heat up.

You would think that the coffee industry could afford a cup of hot water, especially if they were reimbursed a quarter for being out a cup, but I guess they don’t get rich by being nice to a mother that needed a little help.

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After shocking news was delivered to me, my breast milk suddenly backed up and wouldn’t come down. After trying to breastfeed every 15 minutes for a day and a half I wanted to scream to someone: “get this child a damn bottle!” The first few days of formula were great but it wasn’t long until the sudden change in diet caused my son to become constipated. He cried and I could see he was having trouble going to the washroom. When I went to see the nurse at our playgroup that week I asked her what I could do she told me to give my son some “tummy time”. Even though 3 weeks is young to be starting tummy time, I figured it couldn’t do a lot more harm than the pain he was already experiencing.

 After a few more days I went to see my doctor who advised me to give my son 1-2 ounces of apple juice. The juice worked, but only if I gave it to him everyday – young children especially at his age should not be consuming juice every day. As a cure for constipation, the juice was a temporary fix but not something I could ever get behind as a routine cure.

One day he got so constipated that we ended up at CHEO. They looked at me like I was crazy (“You’re here because of what?”) but once they examined him they realized he really did need help and gave him a suppository, which again I was only to give when constipated. The baby kept getting constipated and I kept giving him enemas until I realized he hadn’t even tried to poop on his own. Back to the drawing board: what can I do to help my son poop? He didn’t want anything out of the ordinary; he just wanted to crap in peace.

Finally I discovered infant massage which has saved both of us a lot of pain and frustration. I was lucky enough to get this class free but if I have another child and they don’t offer free classes I would pay. They show you how to relieve gas pains and to get your child’s bowels moving so that they can poop, all while both of you bond. It’s like a 2 for 1 special: you get to help you child by relieving potential pain and at the same time spend quiet time together.

I would recommend this class to every parent and I think they should teach it in the prenatal classes. We learn how to bath and feed, swaddle and sooth, why not massage? After massaging him 10 minutes later the farting began and then the biggest poop I ever saw. I mean in his socks, up his back; the “man I’m glad I got this out” kind of poop. So if you’re having trouble with gas pains try this; I’m telling you it works. If you are a self-leaner you can even get a manual online or in bookstores to show you how to perform the routine.

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After going to our weekly playgroup and talking to the moms there, the consensus I generally found was to put him in his crib and let him cry until he falls asleep; after a few days he will get into a routine and stop crying. The first night I took their advice and he cried and cried and cried until he was so exhausted that he did eventually pass out, but the next night I couldn’t do it. I was stressed, we were both miserable, and we were both crying. After doing a lot of research on the internet (I’ve never researched so much since getting pregnant) a lot of sites and books warn people not to let your child cry because he or she will stand a higher chance of SIDS. Rather than just exhausting themselves and giving up, some children have been found to actually stop breathing when constantly left on their own to “cry it out”.

I tried to think the way my child would. I put myself in his place and wondered what would comfort and relax me. We all know that when we go to the spa the one thing that relaxes us is the peaceful music. I tried listening to his Winnie the Pooh mobile but realized its song would actually get him more excited and ready to play rather than soothe and put him to sleep.

Finally I remembered the Ocean Wonders aquarium toy I had bought from my cousin when I was pregnant. What a life saver! It has a soothing light so the child isn’t in complete darkness and alone and it plays a variety of songs and nature sounds. If the song ends and your child is still awake you have a remote that can start the music again or he can push a button and make it go himself.  Well, that did it and that night he slept peacefully without exhausting himself and without me standing in the hallway crying along with him. He just played with the aquarium and ever so gently went to sleep.

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Depending on the brand, for $0.47-$0.67 you can buy jars of chemically processed food with a shelf life of 5 to 10 years. Alternatively, you can spend 20 minutes a week making healthy chemical-free baby food. To me it is worth taking the brief time each week to make healthy food for my child food that can be frozen. In a small fridge-top freezer, fresh-made food can last for 3-4 months; in a deep freeze: up to six months.

Society has gotten lazy about their food and eating habits and there have been repercussions: children aren’t tolerating foods as much, allergies are on the rise, and babies are becoming fussier eaters. If you’ve ever tasted baby food you have my sympathies I wanted to try it before my son was due to start eating to explore the taste textures etc. As a trained chef my opinion is jarred baby food in general is totally unpalatable; the colors are off and you can’t even differentiate what the taste is. For fun I had my cousin close her eyes and sample some of the food she was going to feed her son and tell me what it was. She didn’t know what she was eating – how scary is that?

The Good News
For parents who really think they don’t have the time to cook for their child, there is now a great company (Sweet pea baby food) offering pre-measured food that is flash frozen and good for 3-6 months in your freezer. The food is made from organic vegetables and if you tell them the age of your child they can tell you which product they have for that age group. I tried their product at the baby boom show this spring and I can actually differentiate the flavors; it was like a party in my mouth. It was bland compared to what a grown up pallet is used to but to a baby exploring a flavor for the first time it would have been superb.

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On one of our adventurous trips to my in-laws we forgot to pack our jug of water to make the babies bottles. We knew he had some trouble tolerating water from other places so out came the bottle water which we thought would be the perfect solution. At the time we were using powdered formula so in the mornings we would boil water and keep it hot in a thermos. When it came to feeding time all we had to do was add the powder and hot water to the bottle, shake it, and let it cool. This takes much less time than heating a bottle up. After boiling the bottled water and leaving it in the thermos for his feeding we opened it and found a grainy deposit on the bottom. Whatever this stuff was, it was going into our child’s stomach. After a little bit of research and reading the label on the water bottles we realized that there was a huge amount of sodium and other minerals which was creating the deposits.

So is the bottle water better than our good old fashion tap water? If regularly tested and maintained I think not. Let’s stop using those plastic bottles and just open the tap for crying out loud.

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