Transitioning A Toddler to a New Baby

If you have a young child at home and a new baby on the way, what can you do to ease the transition to a larger family?

We had this delima and decided on a few things we wanted to accomplish: First, don’t surprise the child with a new sibling – start talking about it as soon as possible; second, don’t move the child to a new room when the baby comes because it will confuse them and make them feel like they’ve lost their comfort zone; finally, make the child feel included in the new baby process so they (hopefully) aren’t resentful when you come home with your new bundle of joy.

Preparations

In our case, the first thing I did was clear out the room I had been using as my office and I painted it a deep relaxing blue for my son. We were moving him to the bigger room because his old room (the nursery) is attached to our own and we would definitely be needing it for the baby. This was done around the 5th month of the pregnancy, so Dylan was able to see changes starting in his mom and start to get to know his new room.

It took about two weeks to do the room since I had a number of repairs to make and wasn’t in a particular rush; it was a fun adventure for him to see the unfolding progress. Finally, I moved his crib and belongings over and let him take a nap in the crib. He was a little confused at first b ut because the situation was non-confrontational it ended up being quite relaxinbg for him.

Next I started on the nursery; tearing down the old decorations and painting it bright and girly. My son was more upset over these changes because it was starting to hit home that the older, smaller room was no longer his. At some point it hit home for him – the change was real.

Meanwhile my wife’s tummy was getting bigger and she was beginning to transition into carrying him less. That was a harder battle to fight because he began to sense that something big was happening and he wanted to be comforted; however, we knew she soon would be physically unable to spend time carrying him – it turned out to be a good decision in the end.

The Delivery

When it was finally time for the new baby to arrive, I had my mother come down and watch my son so we could focus our energy on the labour and know that Dylan was safe. My wife’s parents would also have been more than happy to take him for us, but it was important to us that he remain home in his comfortable environment. We’re very fortunate to have such a close and supportive family.

Four hours after the baby was born, my mother brought Dylan to the hospital to he could meet his new sister. We’d been talking about her for so long, it was nice to see that he actually seemed to understand what he was looking at. It was a sweet family moment that I was happy we were able to share. Thanks Mom!

Aside from meeting his sister, we made sure to have a present ready for him so he would know he was still important to us. Overall it was a very smooth experience.

Settling In

It wasn’t all fun and games, of course. Once we brought the baby home there was an adjustment period. It was one thing to meet his sister in the hospital but Dylan wasn’t so pleased with the situation once there was a screaming baby sharing the house (and mom and dad) with him. Three days away from his parents took a toll and while he was very well behaved for my mother, he was generally inconsolable once we returned. Remember that he is only two years old – he was so happy to have us home but didn’t know how to control his emotions.

It’s been a few weeks now, and we’ve largely settled back to routine. Dylan has accepted Katrina as a permanent fixture of the house and treats her carefully and compassionately. When she cries, he seeks us to soothe her. When we feed her, he gently kisses her forehead. Adding a new member to the family is a major life event but it doesn’t have to be traumatic.

What to Feed Your Sick Toddler

When your baby gets the stomach flu similar bug, mealtime

becomes even more challenging. What do you give to your little one who either can’t keep food down or has lost interest in eating because of the pain in their tummy?

Staying Hydrated is More Important Than Staying Fed
The first thing to remember: It’s much more important to drink plenty of fluids when your child (or you) becomes ill. Between fevers, diarrhea and vomiting, the body needs all of the water it can get in order to fight off the infection. If your child is able to drink but refuses to eat food, you may be best letting their system continue to work.

Stock Up on Pedialyte
Pedialyte – and other “noname” brands that offer the exact same product at half the price – is an excellent aid for a parent with a sick child. Especially in cases where the child seems to be throwing up everything that is going down, this medicine will help your child slowly absorb additional electrolytes which will help their immune system fight off the virus.

Tip: Gatorade – among other sports drinks – has a similar effect for adults (but contains too much sugar for younger children). In our household we call this our secret weapon and stock up every time one of us starts to get sick.

The BRAT Diet
BRAT (Bananas, Rice, Apple sauce, Toast) is an acronym you can use to remember the foods that will help to settle your child’s stomach while giving them the best chance to regain nutrients in order to get better faster. These foods are good sources of minerals and vitamins but are neutral enough that they offer the best chances at staying down in an upset tummy.

The CRAM Diet – More Protein
A similar diet involves Cereal and Milk in order to boost the amount of protein your child receives. Depending on the tastes of your child, offer these foods if your child will have them (ours won’t eat bananas, for example).

When to Seek Medical Help
Call your doctor if your child is disoriented, lethargic, difficult to wake, or has a fever higher than 102 fahrenheit. In most cases your child will be better served resting at home – resting in bed is more comfortable than waiting in a strange place for a doctor; going to the hospital will expose your children to more disease (as it turns out, some of those other people in the waiting room could be sick).

How to Prevent Getting and Spreading Disease

We’re all under the weather in our household. Last night my brother woke us up from a deep sleep by calling at 7:30PM. We won’t be going to be quite so early tonight, but the sandman is not far off. Despite the frantic calls of “swine flu!!” from overzealous family members (someone tell me the irrational H1N1 panic is going to go away soon).

We practice sanitary techniques in order to cut down the number of viruses we are exposed to and to prevent spreading any disease when we do become infected. You can use these tips to help protect yourself, your friends and coworkers, and your loved ones from getting sick as this year’s cold and flu season approaches.

1. No Face Touching
Since you contract the flu through your nose, mouth and throat, it is important to avoid introducing germs to those areas. Implement a “no face touching” policy – if you sneeze, rub your eyes, scratch your nose, wash your hands right away.

2. Good Hand Washing
A good hand wash lasts more than 20 seconds. You don’t need antibacterial soap – those generally do not kill more bacteria because people don’t let their hands lather long enough. Besides, the flu is a virus which wouldn’t be affected by an anti-bacterial.

The mechanical action of rubbing your hands together is the key to getting rid of any virus lurking on your hands. Use lukewarm water to wash away soap suds. Some people think you can get better results by making the water as hot as you can tolerate, but that is actually a bad idea because it will open up your pores and increase your changes of infection.

Bonus: Don’t forget to scrub between your fingernails!

3. Rise The Nose
As mentioned above, the flu virus infects you through your nostrils, mouth and throat. Therefore, it’s important to keep your nostrils clear in addition to keeping your hands off your face. One great way to accomplish this is by providing everyone in the family with their own bottle of nasal spray. Saline rinses (the dreaded neti pot) are also very effective, however a simple saline rinse will quickly wash away the majority of disease-causing debris.

4. Gargle
Mouthwashes like Listerine are incredibly useful for washing away any virus particles that may be lingering in your throat. Salt water may also be used and is recommended here. This maneuver clears your throat as well as your nasal cavity and kills harmful bacteria to boot.

5. Drink Warm Fluids
Drinking warm beverages like tea or coffee has a similar but opposite effect as does gargling. The warm liquid will wash the virus into your stomach where it is destroyed and won’t cause you any harm.

While it’s impossible to prevent yourself from ever getting sick, there are a lot of simple things you can do to prevent spreading germs to other people if you do become sick. Doing this will help to improve your overall health and keep the number of invaders to your system at a manageable level.

The Second Pregnancy

The second pregnancy is a big step in your life as a parent as well as in the life of your first born. On one hand you are embarking on a familiar journey and have a sense of what you can expect, while on the other hand you have a new set of responsibilities to juggle as you make the transition and become a larger family.

Am I Missing Out on the Pregnancy?

It takes a lot of resources – both financial and time – to raise a child. With all those demands constantly pressing on your time you may feel like you’re “missing out” on the new pregnancy. Many second-time parents fear that they will not bond as strongly with the new baby because so much of their time is taken up.

Will I Love One Child More Than The Other?

Many parents fear they will not love the new baby as much as their older child, or that the older child will feel replaced or unwanted. The older child is starting to become more independent and needs less hands-on time, but will they feel completely shut out when there is a new infant taking all of tired mom’s energies?

Safe Transitions

The best way to proceed will of course depend on the temperament and age of your oldest child. You can explain to a five year old what is going on and involve them in planning and decorating for the new baby, but a two-year-old won’t have the same level of comprehension – they can tell “something” is changing, but need to be carefully handled so they don’t wake up one morning and lose their room, lose horseback-mommy, and have to learn all new routines.

Much like the first pregnancy, they key to a comfortable transition is beginning early. No one gets a right to complain – mother nature gives us nine months to get our things in order and prepare for the change in our lives. Second-time (and third-time and fourth-time) parents have an ace up their sleeve in that they already know what to expect when bringing home an infant.

Stop. Breathe in. Breathe out. Now go and enjoy this amazing time!

When Baby Refuses Bottle

Just when you become accustomed to your baby behaving a certain way, suddenly their habits change and you find yourself dealing with a whole new set of circumstances. You may have been fortunate enough to have a baby that takes lots of naps during the day but now decides not to take any more naps at all. Or, like us, you may have a baby who suddenly decides that drinking from their bottle is too boring for their newly refined sense of self.

It can be tricky to figure out your child’s needs, particularly around the one-year mark. They can’t talk yet and tell you what’s on their mind. At the same time they want to experience more independence and begin learning skills (like walking and crawling) that they may not be fully prepared for. Before you know it you’re picking dirt out of their mouth even after you thought your floor was spotlessly clean.

When the baby refuses to drink, you have the tough job of figuring out whether they have become sick, whether they’re in pain because of teething issues, whether they are just being picky and need to be given a “sippy” cup, or whether they need to be left alone to play.

How to tell when your baby’s refusal to drink is serious enough to call the doctor

1. If the baby has a high fever (39.7/103.5 or more) take them to the emergency room immediately.
2. If your baby has a more mild fever, is sleepy or hard to wake, and refuses their bottles take them to see their doctor.
3. If your baby hasn’t passed stools for more than two days and is irritable, they could need help to soften their poop before they get a blockage. Take your child to the doctor soon especially if they are showing signs of pain when forcing.
4. Check for rashes, bug bites, ticks. Check everywhere – chest, back, arms, legs, armpits, groin area, scalp. A bug bite or infection can sometimes cause enough discomfort to preclude eating.