We had this delima and decided on a few things we wanted to accomplish: First, don’t surprise the child with a new sibling – start talking about it as soon as possible; second, don’t move the child to a new room when the baby comes because it will confuse them and make them feel like they’ve lost their comfort zone; finally, make the child feel included in the new baby process so they (hopefully) aren’t resentful when you come home with your new bundle of joy.

Preparations

Dylan Waking Up from the first nap in his new room

It took about two weeks to do the room since I had a number of repairs to make and wasn’t in a particular rush; it was a fun adventure for him to see the unfolding progress. Finally, I moved his crib and belongings over and let him take a nap in the crib. He was a little confused at first b ut because the situation was non-confrontational it ended up being quite relaxinbg for him.

Next I started on the nursery; tearing down the old decorations and painting it bright and girly. My son was more upset over these changes because it was starting to hit home that the older, smaller room was no longer his. At some point it hit home for him – the change was real.

Meanwhile my wife’s tummy was getting bigger and she was beginning to transition into carrying him less. That was a harder battle to fight because he began to sense that something big was happening and he wanted to be comforted; however, we knew she soon would be physically unable to spend time carrying him – it turned out to be a good decision in the end.

The Delivery

When it was finally time for the new baby to arrive, I had my mother come down and watch my son so we could focus our energy on the labour and know that Dylan was safe. My wife’s parents would also have been more than happy to take him for us, but it was important to us that he remain home in his comfortable environment. We’re very fortunate to have such a close and supportive family.

Dylan and Katrina Meet

Aside from meeting his sister, we made sure to have a present ready for him so he would know he was still important to us. Overall it was a very smooth experience.

Settling In

It wasn’t all fun and games, of course. Once we brought the baby home there was an adjustment period. It was one thing to meet his sister in the hospital but Dylan wasn’t so pleased with the situation once there was a screaming baby sharing the house (and mom and dad) with him. Three days away from his parents took a toll and while he was very well behaved for my mother, he was generally inconsolable once we returned. Remember that he is only two years old – he was so happy to have us home but didn’t know how to control his emotions.

It’s been a few weeks now, and we’ve largely settled back to routine. Dylan has accepted Katrina as a permanent fixture of the house and treats her carefully and compassionately. When she cries, he seeks us to soothe her. When we feed her, he gently kisses her forehead. Adding a new member to the family is a major life event but it doesn’t have to be traumatic.

Related posts:

1. What to Feed Your Sick Toddler
2. Baby Will Never Choose
3. How to Soothe Your Crying Baby

photo credit: suzukiQ

becomes even more challenging. What do you give to your little one who either can’t keep food down or has lost interest in eating because of the pain in their tummy?

Staying Hydrated is More Important Than Staying Fed
The first thing to remember: It’s much more important to drink plenty of fluids when your child (or you) becomes ill. Between fevers, diarrhea and vomiting, the body needs all of the water it can get in order to fight off the infection. If your child is able to drink but refuses to eat food, you may be best letting their system continue to work.

Stock Up on Pedialyte
Pedialyte – and other “noname” brands that offer the exact same product at half the price – is an excellent aid for a parent with a sick child. Especially in cases where the child seems to be throwing up everything that is going down, this medicine will help your child slowly absorb additional electrolytes which will help their immune system fight off the virus.

Tip: Gatorade – among other sports drinks – has a similar effect for adults (but contains too much sugar for younger children). In our household we call this our secret weapon and stock up every time one of us starts to get sick.

The BRAT Diet
BRAT (Bananas, Rice, Apple sauce, Toast) is an acronym you can use to remember the foods that will help to settle your child’s stomach while giving them the best chance to regain nutrients in order to get better faster. These foods are good sources of minerals and vitamins but are neutral enough that they offer the best chances at staying down in an upset tummy.

The CRAM Diet – More Protein
A similar diet involves Cereal and Milk in order to boost the amount of protein your child receives. Depending on the tastes of your child, offer these foods if your child will have them (ours won’t eat bananas, for example).

When to Seek Medical Help
Call your doctor if your child is disoriented, lethargic, difficult to wake, or has a fever higher than 102 fahrenheit. In most cases your child will be better served resting at home – resting in bed is more comfortable than waiting in a strange place for a doctor; going to the hospital will expose your children to more disease (as it turns out, some of those other people in the waiting room could be sick).

Related posts:

1. Transitioning A Toddler to a New Baby
2. When Baby Refuses Bottle

photo credit: waferboard

We’re all under the weather in our household. Last night my brother woke us up from a deep sleep by calling at 7:30PM. We won’t be going to be quite so early tonight, but the sandman is not far off. Despite the frantic calls of “swine flu!!” from overzealous family members (someone tell me the irrational H1N1 panic is going to go away soon).

We practice sanitary techniques in order to cut down the number of viruses we are exposed to and to prevent spreading any disease when we do become infected. You can use these tips to help protect yourself, your friends and coworkers, and your loved ones from getting sick as this year’s cold and flu season approaches.

1. No Face Touching
Since you contract the flu through your nose, mouth and throat, it is important to avoid introducing germs to those areas. Implement a “no face touching” policy – if you sneeze, rub your eyes, scratch your nose, wash your hands right away.

2. Good Hand Washing
A good hand wash lasts more than 20 seconds. You don’t need antibacterial soap – those generally do not kill more bacteria because people don’t let their hands lather long enough. Besides, the flu is a virus which wouldn’t be affected by an anti-bacterial.

The mechanical action of rubbing your hands together is the key to getting rid of any virus lurking on your hands. Use lukewarm water to wash away soap suds. Some people think you can get better results by making the water as hot as you can tolerate, but that is actually a bad idea because it will open up your pores and increase your changes of infection.

Bonus: Don’t forget to scrub between your fingernails!

3. Rise The Nose
As mentioned above, the flu virus infects you through your nostrils, mouth and throat. Therefore, it’s important to keep your nostrils clear in addition to keeping your hands off your face. One great way to accomplish this is by providing everyone in the family with their own bottle of nasal spray. Saline rinses (the dreaded neti pot) are also very effective, however a simple saline rinse will quickly wash away the majority of disease-causing debris.

4. Gargle
Mouthwashes like Listerine are incredibly useful for washing away any virus particles that may be lingering in your throat. Salt water may also be used and is recommended here. This maneuver clears your throat as well as your nasal cavity and kills harmful bacteria to boot.

5. Drink Warm Fluids
Drinking warm beverages like tea or coffee has a similar but opposite effect as does gargling. The warm liquid will wash the virus into your stomach where it is destroyed and won’t cause you any harm.

While it’s impossible to prevent yourself from ever getting sick, there are a lot of simple things you can do to prevent spreading germs to other people if you do become sick. Doing this will help to improve your overall health and keep the number of invaders to your system at a manageable level.

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photo credit: quinn.anya

The second pregnancy is a big step in your life as a parent as well as in the life of your first born. On one hand you are embarking on a familiar journey and have a sense of what you can expect, while on the other hand you have a new set of responsibilities to juggle as you make the transition and become a larger family.

Am I Missing Out on the Pregnancy?

It takes a lot of resources – both financial and time – to raise a child. With all those demands constantly pressing on your time you may feel like you’re “missing out” on the new pregnancy. Many second-time parents fear that they will not bond as strongly with the new baby because so much of their time is taken up.

Will I Love One Child More Than The Other?

Many parents fear they will not love the new baby as much as their older child, or that the older child will feel replaced or unwanted. The older child is starting to become more independent and needs less hands-on time, but will they feel completely shut out when there is a new infant taking all of tired mom’s energies?

Safe Transitions

The best way to proceed will of course depend on the temperament and age of your oldest child. You can explain to a five year old what is going on and involve them in planning and decorating for the new baby, but a two-year-old won’t have the same level of comprehension – they can tell “something” is changing, but need to be carefully handled so they don’t wake up one morning and lose their room, lose horseback-mommy, and have to learn all new routines.

Much like the first pregnancy, they key to a comfortable transition is beginning early. No one gets a right to complain – mother nature gives us nine months to get our things in order and prepare for the change in our lives. Second-time (and third-time and fourth-time) parents have an ace up their sleeve in that they already know what to expect when bringing home an infant.

Stop. Breathe in. Breathe out. Now go and enjoy this amazing time!

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2. Transitioning A Toddler to a New Baby
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photo credit: jonfeinstein

Just when you become accustomed to your baby behaving a certain way, suddenly their habits change and you find yourself dealing with a whole new set of circumstances. You may have been fortunate enough to have a baby that takes lots of naps during the day but now decides not to take any more naps at all. Or, like us, you may have a baby who suddenly decides that drinking from their bottle is too boring for their newly refined sense of self.

It can be tricky to figure out your child’s needs, particularly around the one-year mark. They can’t talk yet and tell you what’s on their mind. At the same time they want to experience more independence and begin learning skills (like walking and crawling) that they may not be fully prepared for. Before you know it you’re picking dirt out of their mouth even after you thought your floor was spotlessly clean.

When the baby refuses to drink, you have the tough job of figuring out whether they have become sick, whether they’re in pain because of teething issues, whether they are just being picky and need to be given a “sippy” cup, or whether they need to be left alone to play.

How to tell when your baby’s refusal to drink is serious enough to call the doctor

1. If the baby has a high fever (39.7/103.5 or more) take them to the emergency room immediately.
2. If your baby has a more mild fever, is sleepy or hard to wake, and refuses their bottles take them to see their doctor.
3. If your baby hasn’t passed stools for more than two days and is irritable, they could need help to soften their poop before they get a blockage. Take your child to the doctor soon especially if they are showing signs of pain when forcing.
4. Check for rashes, bug bites, ticks. Check everywhere – chest, back, arms, legs, armpits, groin area, scalp. A bug bite or infection can sometimes cause enough discomfort to preclude eating.

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1. Nine Month Old Refuses to Drink Bottle
2. How a Thermos Makes Bottle Time Easier
3. Infant Massage Helped My Son Poop

photo credit: Andrea Fregnani

thigh, I can’t help but wonder how my infant son is coping with the heat. He’s pulled his favourite toys together in front of the baby gate behind which I’ve placed a box fan in an attempt to circulate the air. If the heat bothers him, he’s not saying anything; he grins one of his toothy smiles at me when he notices I’m watching him, then goes back to playing.

Downstairs there is a central air unit missing one of the parts it needs to drain properly. The knowledge of its presence is almost taunting us. I look forward to the relief we will experience when we are finally able to cool the house down by only a few degrees.

Like everything else having to do with childcare, you will run into a lot of differing opinions about how best to help your children handle warm weather. The bottom of the pyramid here is hydration – like adults, children need more fluid to replace what they lose through sweat. Don’t feel shy about being generous with water and bottles especially if your child is going through a growth spurt.

Juices and pop should be avoided because they don’t give your child’s body any extra benefit – in the case of pops and sodas, the caffeine in the drink will actually act to dehydrate. Sport drinks like Gatorade may be helpful in small quantities during extreme heat because they will boost the electrolytes in your child’s body and help them feel more replenished.

There is a myth circulating around that air conditioning units are not safe for children because the cold can cause a chill or asthma later in life. This is hogwash. Air conditioning is safe for babies and can help them get a full night’s rest rather than tossing and turning because they are wet, sweaty and uncomfortable.

If you’re not fortunate enough to have an air conditioner, or if you don’t use one because you don’t feel your climate is oppressive enough, you may choose to use fans to help circulate the air. Good news! Research has shown that fans can greatly reduce the risk of SIDS. Sadly, fans do not cool the air, they only circulate the warm air already in the room.

Leave a comment with your tips for beating the heat in child-friendly ways!

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photo credit: blinkenpilzen

community it seems like the right time to say something.

If you’re terribly worried about the H1N1 (Swine flu) strain of influenza, my advice is don’t let it affect your daily life. Unless you’re able to stay in your home and have zero contact with the outside world, you may very well get infected.

Here’s the big thing to remember: there is nothing novel about this strain of the flu. It’s just like any other flu with symptoms ranging from runny nose, aches and pains, diharrea and vometting, high fever and coughing.

Not a Novel Disease

There’s really nothing brought to the table by H1N1 that you haven’t already seen during your previous encounters with the flu. What makes swine flu newsworthy is the fact that it is a mutation of the virus for which most people do not already have immunity, meaning it is capable of becomming a pandemic – that is, a lot of people infected over a wide area; it does not mean a lot of people are on their death beds.

Like any flu, the elderly and the very young are most at risk for serious complications. Take your baby into the hospital if they become listless, refuse to drink their bottle, have a high fever, are vomitting, do not want to be held or are unusually difficult to wake.

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1. How to Prevent Getting and Spreading Disease

Diagnosis: Attitude, not strep throat.

Apparently, around the end of their first year, children start wanting to assert more independence – never mind that they don’t have the skills needed to do so. Even though your child can’t yet walk (maybe they can’t even crawl yet!) you will find them trying to push themselves away from you and travel on their own. Their nutrition changes and the time is right to start weening them off the bottle and onto real milk and solid food.

This is the same time that sleeping habits start to change and originally docile babies start to become menaces. Just when you thought you were getting used to the routine of parenthood, it all changes! It’s time to start baby proofing your home, if you haven’t already, because your child will be discovering all imaginable dangers very soon.

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2. How a Thermos Makes Bottle Time Easier
3. Bottled Doesn’t Mean Better

photo credit: Anyaka

It’s the big day: my son is getting circumcised. My mother calls and says “don’t forget your tempra, the baby will need it.” After we get to the doctors office and I ask the doctor how much tempra should I give to the baby before the procedure starts. His answer was, surprisingly, none. Ok, how much do I give him after the procedure? This is when the doctor explains to my husband and I that since our son is only 7 days old he doesn’t have any feelings in that region right now, therefore we don’t need to give him pain medication any unless he show signs of discomfort. We watched the baby very closely for days and he never seemed to be having any pain.

When I went to my pediatrician for baby’s first shots I asked if I should give him some tempra before the needles. The doctor explained that he doesn’t believe in giving children any medication before their shots because we would not be able to tell if he was having a reaction to the shots. If I saw that he was having any reaction (pain or otherwise) I was to come back to the office immediately anyway so there was no point in giving him the tempra. As I sat there watching the nurse getting the needles ready I started second guessing my decision to give him tempra but he was already sleeping and I didn’t want to wake him up.

I watched the nurse give the baby his shots and he didn’t even wake up! He was sleeping so peacefully, oblivious that he had just received 2 needles (one in each leg).

Whether or not you give your child tempra or Advil, Tylenol is something that must always be left to the discretion of the mother and the doctor. One baby at our playgroup receives a dose of tempra before and after his needle; his mother is comfortable with that and he is none the worse for it. My own opinion on the matter is unless the child is sick don’t give them medication. Giving medication to children for every little thing may sometimes provide more comfort to the parents than to the child.

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1. Talk About Money as Soon as Possible

Since money and finance is such a huge part of successfully navigating the “real world”, we would be remiss not to start talking about money the minute our children begin to count.

2. Maintain a Weekly Allowance

There are a lot of conflicting views about whether or not an allowance should be directly tied to work done around the house. I don’t like the idea of paying my children to help around the house – chores and cleaning come with the territory of being contributing members of the household, which are lessons I believe linking with an allowance would detract from.

Remember: An allowance should never be a tool used to punish since it is so important to teach children about planning and managing their money. By making it something that can be taken away when the child misbehaves, we lower it to the objective level of a video game or favourite toy – sending the message that money is no more important than other possessions.

3. Respect Money

Children learn best by imitation. You don’t have to share details of your financial situation with your children in order for them to pick up on your habits – if you save your money and don’t buy items you can’t afford, your children will pick up on it; likewise if you are prone to buy the latest goods using your credit card, that will come to be ingrained in the minds of your children.

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By this time most people will agree that one’s health is more important than their weight. We’re starting to hear experts call for “nutrition” more than “diet”, for “life style improvements” more than “weight loss”. Someone may be at their “ideal weight” and have more health problems than someone classified as “overweight”. Excess weight certainly leads to increased risk of heart disease, diabetes and many other complications; however, many people (who fail) start their dieting with the aim of “looking better” rather than being healthier.

I will always hold that you need to take care of yourself first if you are going to have any hope of being there 100% for your child. Lifestyle changes and improvements to eating habits don’t happen overnight “because they must” – they are learned through determination and trial. Don’t wait for your infant to start eating solid foods before cooking healthy – it won’t last and your child will learn to eat the same junky food that you do.

There are so many reasons to seek to become a fit parent.  Here is my own list, perhaps others will find some similarities with their own ideals:

• I want to have more energy so I can play with my child longer
• I want to have enough strength that carrying my child won’t tire me out so fast
• I want to lead by example and show my child how to make proper eating choices
• I want to help prevent disease so I might be healthy enough to enjoy my grandchildren one day

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Not all recalls are life-threatening, nor do they affect all items that were produced by the manufacturer.  Our car was called in once because the seal around the windshield on our model was found to wear too quickly.  Although we never had any problems with it, we were still able to have it replaced free of charge.

When the product recall is for family safety equipment, it is important to pay attention.  But how can a busy parent keep track of everything that may put their family in danger?  Fortunately there are many government-backed online sources that can help.

There are a few that we like:

CSA International – CSA tests products for conformance to and above national and international standards, and issues certification to qualified products.  When it comes to any safety equipment – bicycle helmets, electrical outlets, car seats – I will only buy products with the CSA label.  CSA also includes a useful RSS feed to keep abreast of new recalls.

Health Canada – The Canadian government is (generally) fanatical about safety, particularly for products relating to children and infants.  Canada has some of the strictest standards in the world when it comes to products for children and newborns.

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This is a time of new demands and responsibilities. That cry is incessant – you don’t want your baby to cry because you know it can lead to feelings of abandonment and increase the risk of SIDS.  But if you have to go to the bathroom, go.

If your bladder is empty, you are going to be more attentive to your child’s needs than if you have the bathroom on your mind.  It can take less than a minute, but have huge effects on your relationship with your baby.

Take the time to eat a meal, even if it involves running back and forth to settle baby.  If you are hungry you are not operating at the top of your game.  If mommy/daddy are over exhausted and hungry they quite simply cannot be 100% there for the baby.

Don’t let your baby cry.  But don’t be afraid to take 15 seconds to take care of your own needs.  We naturally put our children’s needs ahead of our own, and we should, but we have to remember that we’re still people and we can better take care of our children if we ourselves are taken care of.

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Bisphenal A’s Bad Rap

Bisphenal A, commonly called BPA, is a chemical used to give great strength to clear plastics including some baby bottles. BPA is also used to make CDs and household electronics, and has even had use as a fungicide. In the wild, BPA has been shown to interfere with the endocrine systems of animals and there have been suspicions since the 1930s that low-level exposure can have toxic effects to humans as well, with bottle-fed infants being particularly at risk.

According to Wikipedia:

Studies by the CDC found bisphenol A in the urine of 95% of adults sampled in 1988-1994 and in 93% of children and adults tested in 2003-04. Almost all exposure is through diet, and infants fed with liquid formula are among the most exposed.

Although Canada in 2008 and the United States by 2009 plan to eliminate infant bottles containing BPA, the health agencies of both countries assure us that the levels of BPA found in consumer products are far below what would be considered dangerous and in fact infant bottles made with BPA do not pose a health risk to our children.

Not All Plastic Bottles Are Harmful

PANIC! The message seemingly spread by mainstream media is that all plastic bottles are bad for your baby’s health. This stems from a general lack of understand on the problem and the laziness of outlets to properly report and inform.

The point the government was trying to make is that some plastics are shown to have harmful effects, and even though the levels in infant bottles are well below what would be considered unsafe, the government take is that any margin of danger is unacceptable for our young.

Self-Educate: Know How To Read the Ingredients of Your Food Containers

The world is buyer-beware. You must hold yourself accountable for what you choose to put into your body and into your children’s bodies, and so you need to be aware of how to tell whether your containers are considered safe or not.

Resin Codes

The resin codes – sometimes known as recycling symbols – printed on the bottoms of plastic bottles and cans are in fact standard identifiers for the materials used in the making of that container.  Bisphenal A is a component in polyvinyl chloride (PVC) which is identified by resin code #3.

Resin code #7 refers to “Other” types that aren’t included in the rest of the numbers.  “Other” may include safe organic biodegradable materials, but it may also contain materials made with BPA.  If you see #7 at the bottom of a bottle, you need to confirm with the manufacturer that the material does not contain BPA – if you are unsure do not purchase it.

Recommended BPA-Free Plastic Numbers

To summarize, “they” recommend we purchase products made with safer plastics and identified by resin code #1, #2, #4 and #5

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If your newborn is inconsolable even though you’re sure his diaper is clean, he is well-fed and warm, check his nose for blockage.

Many newborns experience their first cold virus within days of being born. It’s nothing to be overly concerned about – they will be able to fight of the virus the same as an adult would.

However, infants can’t yet blow their noses – the build-up of mucous (boogers, if you will) is uncomfortable and hinders breathing. If your baby breast feeds, he will stop more often and gasp for air.

To correct, simply take a syringe / eye dropper, squeeze out all the air, put it into the baby’s nose, and release. It will draw out the source of your baby’s breathing discomfort and may help you and baby continue your night’s rest.

For the gadget-inclined, a product called Baby Vac is available. It is an attachment for your vacuum cleaner that is designed to go into baby’s nose and suck out all the nasties. Personally, I find this product creepy as can be, but it’s totally safe despite its weirdness.

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