2011 in Review

Every year I sit down and review the entire set of blog posts written over the past twelve months, admittedly not a lot this year. I make pledges to write more often even though I know I won’t, realistically; I will have spurts where I write every day and I will have spurts where I write nothing for months at a time.

It feels weird to be sitting here thinking about the changes that went by in the last year, and how much has changed in some regards while very little has changed in others. Last year at this time I was sitting 5 feet away from this spot, on the couch, facing east while reminiscing, this time I am facing south, but the room is unchanged aside from a new couch where the old once was.

I’m thinking about what it was like to share in my wife’s third pregnancy; after the second felt so very rushed, the third seemed more real to me in a lot of ways because I was able to slow down and take in all of the sights and sounds as it were. There were some scary moments but we had a beautiful baby boy in February, got ejected from the hospital during the worst snowstorm of the year (it took hours to drive home) and went back that night when I experienced a kidney stone – a horrifyingly painful experience I don’t wish upon anybody. Now Ben is almost a year old, starting to walk, slowly switching to milk and food; and I’m taking advantage of the rare quiet of a nap time to go over my thoughts and appreciate just how fast the year has gone by.

Before the birth, I thought about what might be useful to parents who need a babysitter – the result was Babysitter Buddy – a website that prompts parents for emergency contact numbers and other important details that a babysitter should know; it’s a useful way to make sure nothing gets forgotten so you can go have fun and know that the person that you’ve left your children in the care of will know everything your kids need to get through the night. Next year I want to re-visit it and improve the interface, make it a bit friendlier and easier to use, now that I’ve had some time away and can approach it objectively again.

2011 had a lot of highs and lows. There were the cute moments that put everything into perspective and remind us why growing a family is so important. There were the nights of frustration and lost sleep that make you want to start scratching days into the wall to count down the time before they turn 18 and move out. We tried new things like having the kids help out with chores and revisited our old standby, the cloth diaper. We’re back on disposables now; cloth is a lot of work when you have three non-stop potty machines on the go.

What’s next for 2012? All three kids will be walking, the oldest may finally be big enough to fit into a booster seat, and we’re going to look for ways to get more involved in our community. By focusing on the core five of us and contributing to the neighbourhood, I want to strengthen our family bonds and give our kids a healthier and happy foundation to begin their school careers (in 2013!).

Resolutions and Plans

Now that the holidays have passed the cleanup can begin. In our household we are busy digging up boxes from the basement to store away Christmas decorations for another year and fortifying anything packed away in boxes so that mice aren’t able to surprise us with their nests next December.

Overall I would have to say we had a very successful season. Our son started eating rice pudding on December 24 which made for a hilarious home movie. We were able to see my parents and the in-laws all in the same day which is a rare treat for us. These are frugal times but we managed to keep the tree surrounded by presents for all of the children – I don’t think any of them went home disappointed.

Even though most people are back to work, today (January 2) is the last real gasp of “holidays”. Soon we will get back to our regularly-scheduled shuffling about and trying to pick out a living for ourselves. Now is a perfect time to reflect on the year that just passed and the excitement the next twelve months will bring.

We aren’t “resolution” people. January 1^st doesn’t involve a list of sins we wish to cut from our lives. But I do have goals as a parent; basically, these are the journeys I wish to continue moving forward.

My Dad list:

• Take care of my health so I can take care of my family
• Learn a new skill that I can one day pass on to my son
• Take care of our finances so I can both provide for and spend more time with my family
• Take photos for cherishing, but avoid the living behind a camera lens trap
• Above all, put my family before all else

Getting in the Mood… for Christmas

Every year we find ourselves in the same checkouts at the same stores listening to the same generic Christmas caroles while surrounded by the same disgruntled customers. Of course it will all be worth it on the big day when we finally get to exchange gifts and enjoy that much-deserved family time; but there must be a better way of getting there from here. Today I’m going to talk about some of the ways families can bring some down-to-earth joy to the holidays.

1. Be Happy
Studies show that when you are jovial, you have a 9% chance of spreading your good will to other people. Likewise, if you are angry or upset, the stress hormones have a 7% change of making those around you experience similar feelings. The moral of the story is that happiness is contagious – so make the effort to be extra nice and other people will ‘catch the bug’ and return the joy.

2. Make a Present
A close friend has an interesting Christmas tradition: every member of their family makes one present for everyone in addition to any shopping they do. The result: more personal gifts, less packaging waste on Christmas day, and less money spent.

3. Stay Home Once Per Week
In the lead-up to Christmas it is easy to find ourselves at the store almost every day picking up last-minute supplies. Instead of going to the nearest Wal-Mart, try to stay home at least one night every week. This will force the mind to relax and will actually focus your thoughts so your next trip is more productive.

4. Stay Safe
Along with the holidays come safety hazards that are not present at other times of the year. Always make sure candles are blown out and the proper lights are in use (do not put outside lights indoors). Make sure the Christmas tree is away from electrical outlets, radiators and high-traffic areas. Of all the times for tragedy to strike, this time of year always just sounds worse the normal.

5. Spread the Joy
If someone in your life has been giving you great service, now is a great time to show your appreciation with a small gift. MSN Money has an excelent article about who, and how much, to tip during the holidays. The key point here is – do not feel obligated to give or spend your money on anyone. However, if you do feel so inclined, your thoughtfulness will not go unnoticed – people remember when they are treated kindly, and you may find yourself on the receiving end of more good will (see tip #1).

Closeness for Christmas

The holidays are a time to relax with cherished friends and loved ones.  This is the time for songs and cheer and reflection of the year past and the year to come.  This is the time to share gifts, food and stories.

The holidays are also a time many people find stressful, largely due to loved ones. Rushing around to shopping malls, planning dinners, figuring out whose parents you will visit on Christmas eve and who you will spend Christmas with. For young couples with new babies this is a time of change; change is always stressful and sometimes scary.

Let’s all take the time to make this Christmas special. It really is a magical time of year – even though we spend time together throughout the year, rarely do we make such a point of it as we do in December. Songs about joy and peace ring off the tongue so freely when lips are tight at other times.

Tomorrow I will follow up with a list ideas that will help get any family into the Christmas spirit.

Get Your Children Excited for Santa

Christmas is just around the corner!  The job may already be done for you, but there are a lot of things parents can do to help get their children in the Christmas spirit and excited for Santa’s visit.

Put Up the Christmas Tree
Many families put up their Christmas trees very early in December.  This is a great opportunity to bond with children and involve them in the holiday process.  Foster creativity by letting them put ornaments in unconventional places; an unused vase filled with shiny Christmas balls makes an eye-catching centrepiece for the table.

Start an Advent Calendar
Those chocolate advent calender, like so many other other aspects of the season, takes a christian tradition (in this case the days of advent) and mass-commercializes it down to a waxy chocolate treat.  Arguments aside, opening a new chocolate decoration every day in the lead-up to Christmas helps to build anticipation and teach young children about the passage of time.

Presents are Surprises
In my family, whenever we give gifts to other people we keep them a surprise until the time they are opened. This was always one of the most fun aspects of the holidays, to me.  When you’ve picked a present that you know the other person is really going to love, it’s almost as unbearable to not give it to them early as it is for them wondering what you might have thought of.

Some families don’t do the surprise presents – sometimes a gift giver is with the recipient when they make or buy their present!  That is a great way to bond, too.  There is no wrong way to celebrate the holidays, and no wrong way to bond with our loved ones.  The priceless look on a child’s (or adult’s!) face when they open a gift they love but weren’t expecting can really make the surprise worthwhile.

Sing Songs
Even if you aren’t the greatest vocalist in the world, encourage song in your household.  Children connect to music on many levels, and familiar Christmas songs build excitement for the big day as well as general good feelings. This works all year round, too!

Enjoy Each Other’s Company
This time of year is great for spending time with loved ones.  There are more statutory holidays and often workplace-provided days off.  Rather than using the free time to catch up on housework or shop for more presents, use it to spend time with the kids.  It’s so easy to get lost in the moment that we don’t always take the time we should with the people who give us the drive to keep doing all that we do.  Drop everything and play with the baby.  There is nothing so important that it can’t wait.