Baby Will Never Choose

Both child gates were closed; my wife behind one and I behind the other. I notice my son was standing between us so I say to him “Come over to Dad. Come to the one you love best.”

My son looks at me and smiles, then looks to his Mom. He raises his foot to take a step, then sets it down and looks at each of us again. Finally he yells “BAD!!!” as he turns and runs as far away as he can get from either of us.

My son doesn’t take sides.

The Second Pregnancy

The second pregnancy is a big step in your life as a parent as well as in the life of your first born. On one hand you are embarking on a familiar journey and have a sense of what you can expect, while on the other hand you have a new set of responsibilities to juggle as you make the transition and become a larger family.

Am I Missing Out on the Pregnancy?

It takes a lot of resources – both financial and time – to raise a child. With all those demands constantly pressing on your time you may feel like you’re “missing out” on the new pregnancy. Many second-time parents fear that they will not bond as strongly with the new baby because so much of their time is taken up.

Will I Love One Child More Than The Other?

Many parents fear they will not love the new baby as much as their older child, or that the older child will feel replaced or unwanted. The older child is starting to become more independent and needs less hands-on time, but will they feel completely shut out when there is a new infant taking all of tired mom’s energies?

Safe Transitions

The best way to proceed will of course depend on the temperament and age of your oldest child. You can explain to a five year old what is going on and involve them in planning and decorating for the new baby, but a two-year-old won’t have the same level of comprehension – they can tell “something” is changing, but need to be carefully handled so they don’t wake up one morning and lose their room, lose horseback-mommy, and have to learn all new routines.

Much like the first pregnancy, they key to a comfortable transition is beginning early. No one gets a right to complain – mother nature gives us nine months to get our things in order and prepare for the change in our lives. Second-time (and third-time and fourth-time) parents have an ace up their sleeve in that they already know what to expect when bringing home an infant.

Stop. Breathe in. Breathe out. Now go and enjoy this amazing time!

Online Walk of Shame

While writing The Parent’s Nook, I struggle to find balance between my desire to share the exciting things going on with my own child’s development, and the desire to keep the tone of the site somewhat neutral.

Certainly the main goal for this blog is to share with other parents some of the tricks I learn and discover as I go through this journey, but it’s sometimes difficult to know when I’ve focused the discussion too much on myself and my own thoughts (except, of course, for this particular entry).

This web site is certainly not a journal by any definition, but in some ways it is journal-like because the topics I write about tend to be the ones I’m dealing with at the moment. My intent is to make you better, dear reader. So if I go on too much about myself please tell me in the kindest way possible.

This is where I should promise to write more often and get back to my regular daily posting schedule. The problem is many bloggers will do that and then not post. So here’s to the spirit of posting regularly, and let’s see that it happens!

If Your Child Gets Lost, Have a Fresh Photo Ready

Today’s tip at Parent Hacks is so brilliant I had to post it here: take a digital picture of the kids before entering an amusement park in case they get lost. Not only is this a great way to generate photographic proof of your adventures, but it could literally save your child’s life. If you and your child were to get separated, the digital photograph beats a plain descripting of your child: the hair colour, eyes, height and even today’s clothes would leave no room for doubt when enlisting help to search for wandering tots.

The chances of actually losing your child are very slim – most of the time children are drawn to flashy or noisy distractions like mall fountains or those ride-on trains. As my own little one starts to take his first steps I can only look forward to the stress that is bound to be heading my way…

Never too Early to Teach Children About Money

With the continuing decline in economic fortunes, adults the world over find themselves “tightening the belt” and setting budgets to get through the tough times. Rather than sheltering our children from the monetary world, now is the perfect time to teach them about the value of money, living frugally, and spending wisely.

1. Talk About Money as Soon as Possible

Since money and finance is such a huge part of successfully navigating the “real world”, we would be remiss not to start talking about money the minute our children begin to count.

2. Maintain a Weekly Allowance

There are a lot of conflicting views about whether or not an allowance should be directly tied to work done around the house. I don’t like the idea of paying my children to help around the house – chores and cleaning come with the territory of being contributing members of the household, which are lessons I believe linking with an allowance would detract from.

Remember: An allowance should never be a tool used to punish since it is so important to teach children about planning and managing their money. By making it something that can be taken away when the child misbehaves, we lower it to the objective level of a video game or favourite toy – sending the message that money is no more important than other possessions.

3. Respect Money

Children learn best by imitation. You don’t have to share details of your financial situation with your children in order for them to pick up on your habits – if you save your money and don’t buy items you can’t afford, your children will pick up on it; likewise if you are prone to buy the latest goods using your credit card, that will come to be ingrained in the minds of your children.