To Nap or Not to Nap With my Child?

Posted on Saturday, March 14, 2009 in Sleep

In the past year I noticed several articles written in newspapers, magazines and parenting books that urge mothers not to sleep with their babies. I remember the nights Dad worked and mom would gather all three of the kids into her bed and we would all fall asleep. I agree with the article in respect of not sleeping with your newborn because there has been studies that prove there are multiple deaths a year from exhausted new parents rolling onto there baby or crushing them with there arm and enabling the baby to breath.

I think that because of the availability of bassinets and co sleepers there isn’t a need to take the risk of rolling onto your child. But I like many mothers am guilty of falling asleep with the baby. The first time I fell asleep with my son he was about 2 weeks old. I was tired had a hard delivery and just needed to cuddle him it was the afternoon and instead of asking my husband to come and put him in his bassinet I held him while I slept. In my defense, I knew my husband was checking on me every 5 minutes or so, so I didn’t sleep with him long.

The next time I fell asleep with him he was about 2 months old and that is when afternoon naps became my time to cuddle and comfort the baby to sleep. My mother keeps telling me that I should break the habit now because he will get used to napping with me and I will have trouble breaking that pattern, but I think it’s important to stop and enjoy having a baby and cuddling them to sleep even if it is their afternoon nap. Some mothers rock their children to sleep and then put them in their beds but I prefer to put them to sleep in bed and watch them wake up and open their beautiful eyes so I can see the security they feel when they realize you are still there holding and cuddling them.

I am a very deep sleeper to the point of fault: when we lived in an apartment building I would sleep through the fire alarm. Knowing my sleeping pattern, I would never sleep with the baby all night and I would never sleep with him when I was extremely overtired (excepting of course that above-mentioned lapse when my husband was being mindful of us). They grow so fast that you do what you can because when they get old enough they won’t want to be held and cuddled as much.

I think napping comforts me just as much as it comforts the baby. Knowing that he needs me is wonderful and it is important for him to know that every once in a while mommy needs to be cuddled too. I appreciated all the information that the articles provided for me; but, as the old saying goes Mommy knows what’s best for her and her baby.

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Tags: bedsharing, bedtime, co-sleeping, new parents, safety

Sharing the Bed with Baby

Posted on Saturday, May 3, 2008 in Sleep

The issue of co-sleeping with baby is one that doesn’t come up in our household. For us, it just isn’t something we would be comfortable with. When he comes home with us the little one will sleep in our room in his own bassinet until he’s old enough to go into his own crib.

Other parents decide that the best place for baby is in bed with them. Parents worldwide share their adult beds with their infants and find the practice increases their closeness to their child, makes feeding easier, and helps sync their sleep patterns with the baby’s.

Experts Say No

In North America, the practice is generally frowned upon by those “in the know”. The reasons given by the likes of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) and the American Academy of Paediatrics (AAP) include:

Bed-sharing increases the risk of SIDS when one or both adults is a smoker

Bed-sharing increases the risk of suffocation because the baby can become wedged between the mattress and headboard/nightstand

Bed-sharing increases the risk of suffocation because the adult can roll onto the baby during sleep

· Co-sleeping increases the risk of strangulation when the baby is placed in a bed containing a headboard with bars or gaps wide enough for part of their body to become entangled

Experts Say Maybe

Interestingly, I was able to find a report from the AAP that suggests research data neither condemns nor endorses bed-sharing. You need a subscription to view the full report, but you can find a link to it below.

In short, research data indicates there are risks associated with bed sharing, while conflicting research indicates the practice is safe.

Does Common Sense Say Yes?

Let’s consider the issue from a practical standpoint. The number of babies born in North America over the last 10 years is in the millions. The number of babies who are known to have died as a result of bed-sharing is in the hundreds. Just looking at the numbers, I wouldn’t be inclined to see this issue as a danger to my child, particularly given the positive developmental opportunities that exist here.

However, if even one baby were to be hurt, I know that I wouldn’t want it to be mine so regardless of the numbers and arguments, every parent has to decide what they feel is best. But I offer this list of preventative measures to help keep baby safe:

Don’t smoke. The health advantages of quitting notwithstanding, I won’t go on about the risk to the child or repeat the ‘quit now message’ we’ve heard so much it lost all meaning. Just don’t smoke – if you do smoke, don’t co-sleep.
Always place baby on her back.
Never co-sleep in a waterbed.
Make sure your headboard (and footboard, if you have one) is of solid construction and doesn’t feature holes for baby to become stuck in.
Make sure your bed frame is tight and secure, and there are no spaces large enough for baby to fall into. The two-finger rule that applies to car seat installation applies here.
Never sleep next to your child if you have consumed any kind of drug, including cold medicine and alcohol. Your body will not be as intuitively aware of the baby’s presence in your sleep and you risk smothering your child.
Keep pillows and soft blankets away from baby as these pose a choking hazard.
Get your doctor on-board with your plan. Even if your pediatrician is against bed sharing, s/he may be comfortable enough to give the green-light if you can convince him that your setup is sound.

A Middle Ground – Side sleepers

I would suggest the use of side sleeper (sometimes known as “Co Sleeper”) beds as the middle ground for parents who are considering co-sleeping with their infants but are concerned about the possible risks. These products are essentially a bassinet with three rails that attach to the side of the adult bed. Babies and parents gain the benefits that come from bonding and sharing a sleeping space, while also enjoying the protection of personal sleep environments that are tailored to their softness requirements.

Arm’s Reach (http://www.armsreach.com/) is one company that specializes in the construction of co-sleepers, Baby Bunk is another (http://www.babybunk.com/).