Nighttime With Baby

The first time my baby slept through the night was both wonderful and terrifying. Wonderful because I’d lost all concept of what sleep was. Terrifying because I woke up with a start at 4am and panicked because the baby hadn’t cried. When I went over to the bassinet and saw him sleeping peacefully, there was a chorus line playing in my head.

Four months later the baby has moved out of our room and into his own crib. That was another big step and a story for another time but suffice it to say the nighttime routine in our house has changed often and dramatically over the past year.

Sometime between 4-7 months, children begin to develop a sense of object permanence – the idea that when something is out of sight, it still exists.  This is basically when your child learns there is only one of you – that when you leave the room you don’t disappear entirely. (What happens before that?  Perhaps the child believes you stop existing?  I wonder how that works on a practical level.)

Today, bed time involves realizing the baby is tired and putting them to bed at the right time.  If we do this too early we have to console a crying baby.  If we do it too late, the baby works himself into such a frenzy of tears he has no idea what’s going on.  As long as he goes to bed on time, the crying only lasts for a few minutes until he realizes he is tired and passes out. Usually.

Get Your Children Excited for Santa

Christmas is just around the corner!  The job may already be done for you, but there are a lot of things parents can do to help get their children in the Christmas spirit and excited for Santa’s visit.

Put Up the Christmas Tree
Many families put up their Christmas trees very early in December.  This is a great opportunity to bond with children and involve them in the holiday process.  Foster creativity by letting them put ornaments in unconventional places; an unused vase filled with shiny Christmas balls makes an eye-catching centrepiece for the table.

Start an Advent Calendar
Those chocolate advent calender, like so many other other aspects of the season, takes a christian tradition (in this case the days of advent) and mass-commercializes it down to a waxy chocolate treat.  Arguments aside, opening a new chocolate decoration every day in the lead-up to Christmas helps to build anticipation and teach young children about the passage of time.

Presents are Surprises
In my family, whenever we give gifts to other people we keep them a surprise until the time they are opened. This was always one of the most fun aspects of the holidays, to me.  When you’ve picked a present that you know the other person is really going to love, it’s almost as unbearable to not give it to them early as it is for them wondering what you might have thought of.

Some families don’t do the surprise presents – sometimes a gift giver is with the recipient when they make or buy their present!  That is a great way to bond, too.  There is no wrong way to celebrate the holidays, and no wrong way to bond with our loved ones.  The priceless look on a child’s (or adult’s!) face when they open a gift they love but weren’t expecting can really make the surprise worthwhile.

Sing Songs
Even if you aren’t the greatest vocalist in the world, encourage song in your household.  Children connect to music on many levels, and familiar Christmas songs build excitement for the big day as well as general good feelings. This works all year round, too!

Enjoy Each Other’s Company
This time of year is great for spending time with loved ones.  There are more statutory holidays and often workplace-provided days off.  Rather than using the free time to catch up on housework or shop for more presents, use it to spend time with the kids.  It’s so easy to get lost in the moment that we don’t always take the time we should with the people who give us the drive to keep doing all that we do.  Drop everything and play with the baby.  There is nothing so important that it can’t wait.

How to Soothe Your Crying Baby

When baby cries, everything can seem to stand still for mom and dad. The detective work starts – is the baby hungry? Are they hurt? Have they wet themselves? Sometimes babies cry just because they enjoy hearing themselves.

How can we know when something is truly wrong with our baby? I hate to say it, but as parents sometimes we just know. Often, however, we don’t. However, there are a number of things we can do to try to determine the severity of our children’s condition without the need for outside help.

1. Change the Baby’s Diaper
Very often children complain of even the slightest wetness. We certainly don’t want to sit around in wet clothes and they don’t either. Some children love to urinate shortly after being changed – so even if the baby has just been put in a new diaper, check to make sure they are still dry.

2. Offer Food
Has time elapsed since the last feeding? It is very important to measure time intervals between feedings to ensure baby gets enough needed nutrients to grow.

Not yet feeding time? Children who are experiencing growth spurts came feed as frequently as every 1-2 hours. If this is the case the child will certainly get hungry and fussy.

3. Sooth the Baby
Most babies react well to a soothing womb-like environment. Take the baby in your arms and make ‘shh-shh’ noises. This could be enough to pacify them.

4. Bundle Up Baby
Much like elderly adults, babies require more layers in order to keep warm. Our rule of thumb is baby wears 1 more layer of clothing than mom and dad. The crying baby may be cold in an otherwise warm room.

5. Try Putting Baby to Sleep
Babies set their sleeping routine and can generally be trusted to sleep (or to not sleep) at specific times. If there have been a lot of car rides or other disruptions in routine, the baby may be feeling over-tired. 3-5 minutes in the crib or bassinet should determine this – a tired baby will usually soothe themselves to sleep in this amount of time. Be careful not to let them “cry it out” – if it takes longer than a few minutes the baby may not be tired enough to sleep, or they may have an entirely different problem.

6. Our Condolences for Parents of Colicky Babies
Some babies suffer from colic – a condition that results from excessive gas causing severe abdominal pain in otherwise healthy infants. About 20% of babies are reported to be colicky; this is torture for both parent and baby. There are many folk remedies such as peppermint, placing the baby in a swing, feeding only warm milk, etc; however, colicky babies eventually grow out of this phase, normally by the 20th week. Hang in there!

7. Check for Rashes or Skin Irritations
Sometimes the crying baby is having an allergic reaction to something in her environment. Check your baby for any tell-tale skin rashes or marks that could be indicative of a deeper problem.

8. Take the Baby for a Car Ride
The vibration in the back seat of the car can put the baby to sleep. The rising cost of gas gives some parents pause to try this – putting the baby in their car seat on top of a washing machine can have a similar effect, just make sure to keep a hand on the seat at all times to prevent the baby from falling to the floor.

9. Take a Break
A baby that won’t stop crying can be frustrating – but it is critically important that parents keep their cool and never shake their crying baby. If someone feels like they are being pushed to the breaking point by baby’s crying, have them put down the baby and go to another room or just outside for a few minutes. The baby may not stop crying, but the adult will be better able to handle the situation.

10. Let Them Cry
Sometimes there is nothing wrong and babies just want to cry. There are many reasons for this – for example the baby may be comforted by the sound of their voice. Especially in newborns, crying clears and exercises the lungs and is essential to normal development. Remember that the goal is not to stop the baby’s crying (although we might wish they did!), but rather to provide for the baby’s needs.

11. Ask for Help
If you are fortunate enough to have relatives nearby or public resources, ask them for suggestions. They may have more ideas that are not on the list, or someone may have encountered the same situation before and will know what to do. If totally unsure, seek medical advice – it doesn’t hurt to be too careful with baby’s health and safety.

The Family Holiday Photograph

As the year-end festivities start to kick into gear my wife and I find ourselves pondering the changes of the last twelve months, the growth of our loved ones, and the new year to come. Part of our tradition is the holiday photograph – that yearly snapshot of our ever-expanding immediate family. In our household photographs and videos are as much a part of the holidays as are turkeys and treats. I have scoured the net to bring together a list of tips for getting the most out of holiday photos.

Have a Good Camera
Obviously the average household is not going to have a professional camera setup on hand. However, there are huge variances between the quality of photographs produced by different camera models, even among similar price points. In the case of digital cameras, a 12 mega pixel camera does not guarantee a better photograph than a 6 mega pixel camera.

In our case we felt it was worth the extra money to get a decent digital SLR. After much research we chose the Nikon D40 and have been very pleased with the results. With an SLR, the photo you see in the viewfinder is exactly the final photo that will appear. The D40 is a little pricier than the more common fixed-lens digital cameras, but considering its construction and the fact you can swap lenses as your skills improved, this camera will be in the family for a long time. The auto-focus is quite solid – we have had this camera for a year now and have yet to take a bad picture.

Soft Light
The sun provides its softest (best) light early in the morning and in the evening. Your family will look their best if you are able to shoot during these times. If not, try to arrange for shade to prevent the harsh light of the sun from glaring off skin in the final photo. Of course if you are in the harsher northern climate this time of year, you may not be taking too many photos outside to begin with!

Talk to Each Other
Don’t have people say “Cheese” or count down – you’ll end up with photos of kids sticking out their tongues at the camera. Instead, keep everyone talking about upcoming activities, new toys, anything of interest. This will lighten the mood and give you a more relaxed photo as your family won’t be thinking of it as posing – they will be less intimidated by the camera and will look more natural.

Heads Together
Arrange it so your loved ones heads are close together. This will cause the final photo to appear warmer, your subjects will look happier. This is an easily overlooked yet simple way to get great family photographs on any occasion.

Clear Up the Background Clutter
Any object in the background will come out in the photo. We are used to perceiving the world around us in three dimensions, but photography is a two-dimensional art. If you don’t want your subject to look like they have a tree growing out of their head, make sure to place them in front of a neutral or solid background.

Wear Bright Colours
This is supposed to be a happy time! Have everyone wear bright, lively colours when taking photographs. This will add a great deal of visual interest to your picture and will make the subjects look more energetic and happy.

Take Lots of Shots
The great hockey player Wayne Gretzky said “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take“. This sentiment applies to photography as well. When you are at your family gathering, take as many photos as you can – don’t always wait for people to pose. The result will be candid, relaxed shots that more accurately portray the character of your family; these are the photos you will most cherish.

Many digital cameras have a “cool-off” period between photos while they save your picture to their internal memory or card. During this time, you cannot take another photo. My advice is to look for a camera that has a large cache memory. A child may only smile for a split second – if you are able to rapid-fire press the shutter button you will be able to capture that smile.

Have Fun
Many people are intimidated by cameras – they may feel they don’t look good in pictures or they may just not want to have their picture taken. Respect your family’s wishes in this regard, but do try have fun with it and encourage everyone to get involved and take part in the photography. The holidays don’t last forever and the time have together won’t come again. Enjoy the gathering and take photographs that can be shared and cherished for years to come.